The beta version of iOS 11, the new mobile operating system, is here in all its unintuitive, user-hostile, buggy-ass glory. Seriously, before you download it, just know it'll drain your battery to death and cost you minutes trying to figure out why exactly you can't swipe open notifications. (Which sadistic Apple exec decided a 3-D Touch-and-tap combo was a better idea?)
But one glitch — god, I hope this is a glitch — stands above the rest: The dictation tool, the little microphone that translates speech to text, takes everything you say and Spells It Out Like This.
So, "Hey, can you pick up dinner?" turns into "Hey, Can You Pick Up Dinner?" Somehow, it's taking sentence-case input and translating it into title case. Your messages come out looking like a BuzzFeed headline or a Jaden Smith tweet.
Even funnier, the bug itself is buggy. IOS 11 doesn't know what words should and shouldn't be capitalized in title case, and it doesn't simply capitalize the first letter of every word, like BuzzFeed does. The dictation tool leaves words like "it" and "is" in lowercase, even though the former is a pronoun and the latter is a verb. (Any editor will tell you that leaving "is" uncapitalized in a title-case headline is amateur hour.) IOS also capitalizes the conjunction "and," which is equally wrong. Sometimes it just leaves random words uncapitalized.
I fully admit most people outside of journalism probably won't find this as amusing as I do. But there's something inexplicably funny — and, in our modern era of "fake news," perfectly fitting — about the most advanced mobile operating system on earth listening to everything we say and translating it into a clickbait headline.