Golden Globes: Tina and Amy Open with a Bang

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have come out, and they are SMOKING, folks. Smoking and KILLING IT.

They aren't pulling their bunches, ladies and gents!

On why they're hosting: "Ricky Gervais could not be here tonight, because he is no longer technically in show business!" Bam!

On Kathryn Bigelow: "When it comes to torture, I trust the woman who spent three years married to James Cameron." Pow!

And the last time they saw Anne Hathaway that alone and abandoned was hosting the Oscars with James Franco! Zing!

And, perhaps most exciting of all, we've had a ROGUE JOAQUIN PHOENIX SIGHTING. He's present! He hasn't set anything on fire yet!