Girls Season 2 Premiere: Lena Dunham and the Gang Are Still the Queens Of Brooklyn

Last night, Lena Dunham was everywhere.

If you tuned into the Golden Globes, you probably saw her accept not one, but two (!) awards for Girls Best Actress and Best TV Comedy or Musical. Then perhaps you flipped over to the season two premiere of Girls for more Dunham-mania, minus the awkward heels and fancy clothes. For that matter, minus all the clothes.

The show we love to talk about is finally back (!!!). Millennials have gone for months without Hannah Horvath & Co. validating their bad choices and aimless lives. It’s time for that deafening silence to end. Without further ado, let’s recap the highly anticipated Girls Season 2 premiere.

All the girls are back and trying desperately to move on to the next phase of their drama-filled, twenty-something lives. But things haven’t really changed as much as they’d like to believe. Hannah is still feeling lots of feelings, as she earnestly declares to her now ex-boyfriend Adam, whom she’s nursing back to health from the truck accident that was pretty much her fault. She has a new sex buddy now, who’s basically a less awkward and less white version of Adam. The sudden presence of a black lover begs the question: is this Dunham’s response to all those Season 1 critics who called her out for excessively white casting? My guess is no. I’d like to think Dunham is too confident in her vision for the show to address those politically correct nincompoops. More likely, she’s just looking for more ways to make old people feel uncomfortable. And it seems to be working.

Five minutes into the premiere, Dunham had already woken up spooning with her gay ex-boyfriend (slash new roomie) Andrew Rannells, gotten naked with the adorable Donald Glover, and gotten peed on (again) by the crippled Adam Driver. Welcome to Season 2!

But for all the new beginnings happening, we soon learn that these characters can’t escape themselves. Hannah may have a new roommate, but her inability to talk about anything besides herself is already pissing him off just like it did Marnie. Hannah also has noble intentions to start fresh in this new relationship with Glover, but by the end of episode one she’s back to making late-night booty calls.

The boyfriend-less and now job-less Marnie is wallowing in self-pity as always. Though she tries to be a free, independent spirit by sleeping with a gay man, all she really wants to do is cuddle up to her ex-boyfriend Charlie and feel pretty again.

Speaking of Charlie, we all thought he’d transformed into a badass in Season 1, dating girls with headbands and running off to Rome. But he, too, is back to old habits, doting over girlfriends and killing his relationships with kindness. Poor Charlie … when will you grow a pair of balls?  

Let’s not forget about Jessa, who randomly got hitched last season. She thought marrying the banker guy would save her from her cluelessness, but from the looks of their brief cameo in last night’s premiere, she’s dragged him into the abyss instead.

Then there is Shoshana. Oh, Shoshy. How I love thee. She may not be a virgin anymore (and lamenting the loss of her hymen), but she’s still a neurotic bundle of jitters — who communicates in Emojis, apparently! Something about that just seems so appropriate.

All in all, the girls of Girls haven’t changed a bit, and that’s just the way we like them. Episode one has set us up for exciting misadventures and a whole lot of narcissistic brooding ahead. I can’t freakin’ wait.

BEST MOMENTS OF SEASON 2 EPISODE 1:

- DJ Shoshana rocking the imaginary turn tables with a Solo cup

- Marnie and Elijah’s botched romp, followed by truisms. Marnie: “You don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not.” Elijah: “Neither do you.” Ouch.

- Adam missing the bedpan and peeing on Hannah’s foot. Urine seems to be a recurring theme in their relationship.

BEST QUOTABLES:

-  Shoshana: “I may be deflowered but not devalued,” and generally her entire conversation with Hannah about her hymen gone missing.

- Ray: "That was a bitchin' cheese plate you brought." (Best pick up line ever?)

- Elijah flirting by the refrigerator: “Like, I didn’t even know there WAS a G train.”  Spoken like a true Brooklyn newbie.