TSA Full Body Scanners: Congress Votes to Stop Stripping Americans Of Their Privacy

Passing through airport security can be more intimate than a successful first date, but the Rapiscan backscatter X-ray body-scanners that leave nothing to the imagination are now going the way of the Dreamliner.

The 2009 Detroit Christmas underpants bomber pushed the TSA to start scanning nudes. Even though that Nigerian Al-Qaedan would never have gotten on the plane in the first place if his passport had been checked, the executive branch decided to annex more of your person just in case.

The effectiveness of these sexually-charged machines was dubious. One man posted a 2,000,000-hit YouTube video of him passing through scanners across the country whilst concealing a suspicious metal object under his arm. The TSA response to this popular video dismissed the “crude attempt” of “some guy." Further, the TSA justified their machines elsewhere, saying that the admittedly revealing images were never stored and could only be viewed by the screener — a setup that seems to work well for 4chan.

Oddly, we have Congress to thank for removing these electro-strippers from airports. In a rare, bipartisan move to protect the privacy of citizens, the legislature swung their mighty regulatory hammer down on the TSA and its machinists, making it prohibitively difficult to abide by the law and continue to use the machines.

Nevertheless, full-body scanners are not gone forever. You will no longer be subject to Rapiscan’s potentially harmful x-rays, but rather to L-3’s safer millimeter radio waves. Your body will no longer be modeled and ogled but simply traced and highlighted for further review.

But weep ye not for the $180,000 disrobers. The scanners should find good homes in prisons or military bases — actual government locations and not private transportation hubs.

How likely are you to make Mic your go-to news source?

Nathan Stringer

Nathan is currently earning his master's in Empires, Colonialism and Globalisation at the London School of Economics. He previously studied modern history and creative writing at Pepperdine University.

MORE FROM

Will Justice Anthony Kennedy retire at end of Supreme Court term? Here's what we know.

Rumors that the 80-year-old swing justice may leave the bench are fueling fear of a second Trump pick on the nation's high court.

3 states and D.C. allow same flammable building materials behind Grenfell Tower fire

The causes of London's Grenfell Tower are similar to the justifications used to waive fire regulations in the U.S.

New Jersey bill would require kids to be taught how to interact with police

Students from kindergarten through 12th grade would receive the education.

UK Parliament hit with cyberattack

Members of Parliament had difficulty accessing their emails Saturday in the wake of the attack.

Istanbul LGBT pride march banned by government for safety concerns

A right-wing nationalist group has vowed to stop the protest.

Compounds seized by US in December reportedly contained material useful in Russia probe

The Trump administration has reportedly been considering returning the New York and Maryland compounds to Russia.

Will Justice Anthony Kennedy retire at end of Supreme Court term? Here's what we know.

Rumors that the 80-year-old swing justice may leave the bench are fueling fear of a second Trump pick on the nation's high court.

3 states and D.C. allow same flammable building materials behind Grenfell Tower fire

The causes of London's Grenfell Tower are similar to the justifications used to waive fire regulations in the U.S.

New Jersey bill would require kids to be taught how to interact with police

Students from kindergarten through 12th grade would receive the education.

UK Parliament hit with cyberattack

Members of Parliament had difficulty accessing their emails Saturday in the wake of the attack.

Istanbul LGBT pride march banned by government for safety concerns

A right-wing nationalist group has vowed to stop the protest.

Compounds seized by US in December reportedly contained material useful in Russia probe

The Trump administration has reportedly been considering returning the New York and Maryland compounds to Russia.