Pundit Caitlin Reilly learned more about Valentine's Day from sitcoms than the real world, and she shares the top 5 things she took from her ample viewing experiences below.
1. There Is No Such Thing As a Good Valentine’s Day: “Valentine’s Day,” The Office
This second season of The Office’s Valentine’s Day episode is the most conventional celebration on our list and probably the best justification for why you should consider options four through one. Predictably, most characters end up disappointed. Most of the characters mope around waiting for Valentines that will never arrive. Who needs that?
2. Don’t Mix Alcohol and Fire: “The One with the Candy Hearts,” Friends
This episode contains some very specific instructions for an alternative Valentine’s Day celebration — a bad boyfriend-cleansing ritual. If you would like to host a boyfriend bonfire of your own, here’s what you need: Oregano, sacramental wine, and the semen of a righteous man.
3. Make Time to Celebrate Platonic Love: “Galentine’s Day,” Parks and Recreation
If you’re the sort of person who’s just looking for more ways to spread Valentine’s Day cheer, I suggest you give Leslie Knope’s Galentine’s Day a try. Galentine’s Day is a day devoted to celebrating your favorite girlfriends.
4. Anesthesia Is a Powerful Aphrodisiac: “Anna Howard Shaw Day,” 30 Rock
Anna Howard Shaw Day is the brainchild Liz Lemon, who prefers to celebrate the February 14 birthday of suffragette, Anna Howard Shaw, in place of Valentine’s Day, “a sham invented my card companies to exploit gender stereotypes.”
5. Screw It. Let’s Just Have a Festivus For the Rest of Us: “The Strike,” Seinfeld
To celebrate a festivus for the rest of us, you need an aluminum pole, around which you gather your family and friends for the airing of grievances.
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