Oscars 2013 Prop Bets: Who Will Win?

Academy Awards fall into two main categories: "Predictable" and "Who gives a shit". This makes betting on the Oscars really hard. When Daniel Day-Lewis and Anne Hathaway both have 1:50 odds to win their category, why even bet? Even the "heated" Best Picture race has Argo ahead at 1:7. That's crazy. On the other hand, Best Original Score is anyone's to grab. But... who cares? And why would we want to bet on that?

So here are some Oscars Prop Bets you can use to spice up the ceremony. Only bets that can be definitively settled are listed--for example, no bets involving "crying" are here, because there's a big gray area of choking up involved. 

Number of different Family Guy voices Seth MacFarlane uses over the course of the evening: Over/Under 2.5

Does Seth MacFarlane make a joke about Ted not being nominated? 3:2

How many people pull out a note to remember all the people they need to thank? Over/Under 4.5

If Quvenzhané Wallis wins (push if she doesn't), does she use any of the following words: Mommy, Daddy, Mama, Dada? 1:3

Does anyone walk on-stage wearing a dead animal? For verification purposes, a pelt is not enough. The face of the animal must still be attached, a la Bjork or Coming to America. 16:1 

Number of curses bleeped over the evening's telecast, red carpet included: Over/Under 8.5

Will a cutaway shot catch any celebs picking their nose? Fingers must be in nose, not just scratching the outside. 60:1

Will we see any one-sentence thank-you speeches? Note: these cannot be for speeches made for shared awards, e.g. "I would like to thank the swap meet for his hat". 3:1

Will the phrase "wardrobe malfunction" be spoken during the actual ceremony? 5:1

Will there be a nip-slip so egregious as to require censoring? 10:1

Will anyone kiss the person who presented their award on the lips? 5:1

Will anyone decline their award? 25:1

And then here are some debatable prop bets that you can make, but will probably have a harder time collecting money on. 

How many times will they do cutaway shots to a minority group when topical, e.g. black people for Django Unchained? Over/Under 6.5

Will any men cry? 2:5

Will the audience cringe at any of MacFarlane's jokes? 1:10

I'm not saying prop bets are the smartest thing you can do during the show, but they can't be as dumb as the show itself. Happy gambling. 

 

 

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Tom Mandel

Go Knicks. tom DOT mandel AT gmail DOT com

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