Kristen Stewart is A Walking Eye Roll

So let's take a moment to talk about how dumb Kristen Stewart is. I know you've got this whole -apathetic-I'm so cool because I don't care-OMG Twilight was just too much fame to handle-wannabe punk rock-thing going for you, but have some self respect. Or at least respect for the highest honor of the industry that you work in. Receiving an Oscar is a level of recognition that Stewart will likely never achieve (at least let's hope not, because if she does that's a definite sign that Jesus is coming to smite us all), and definitely never earn. But to be a presenter is certainly a high honor. And you limp out, with that fake ass limp. Come on, everyone has sprained their ankle, you're not in a slapstick film, no one walks like that ever. With your messy ass hair. A bruise on your arm. Haplessly letting your gown hang on your body, instead of proudly presenting yourself. And then you give that smug smirk you always give, that you try and pass off as this kind of fey manic pixie awkwardness, but we all know is contrived as my other least favorite "actress," Lena Dunham's, narcissism. You guys should date. 

My point is... can we all just finally stop caring about her, and giving her moments like this to give us a giant middle finger for caring about her? Please. And now I have spent way too much time thiking about this. Back to the show. 

How much do you trust the information in this article?

Chloe Stillwell

Chloe currently resides in Nashville, her hometown, after long stints in New York and Los Angeles. She is a New School alum and UCB-trained sketch writer. Her alternative comedy is featured at Mad Atoms, an off-shoot of 20th Century Fox. Her work on pop culture, entertainment, feminism and social justice has appeared in The Frisky, Death & Taxes, Nerve, Guerrilla Feminism, and Amy Poheler's Smart Girls, among others. She has a penchant for dive bars and diners.

MORE FROM

Know who’s really winning ‘Game of Thrones’ this season? The show’s editing team

Props to Crispin Green and Tim Porter for episodes one and two, respectively. Y'all are some gross monsters.

TJ Miller’s explanation of the “feminist agenda” in ‘The Emoji Movie’ proves the bar is too low

How feminist can a movie with no female writers really be?

On Lana Del Rey’s lust for social consciousness

For her latest studio full-length, LDR proves there's more to her than the flower-crown aesthetic.

‘Game of Thrones’ Theories: Arya and Nymeria finally reunited, but what does it mean?

So, is Arya actually heading back to Winterfell?

‘Game of Thrones’: So Samwell Tarly is basically George R.R. Martin, right?

Finally, Jon Snow's sidekick has a greater purpose.

‘Game of Thrones’: Everyone's true nature is exposed in "Stormborn"

WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU, THEON!

Know who’s really winning ‘Game of Thrones’ this season? The show’s editing team

Props to Crispin Green and Tim Porter for episodes one and two, respectively. Y'all are some gross monsters.

TJ Miller’s explanation of the “feminist agenda” in ‘The Emoji Movie’ proves the bar is too low

How feminist can a movie with no female writers really be?

On Lana Del Rey’s lust for social consciousness

For her latest studio full-length, LDR proves there's more to her than the flower-crown aesthetic.

‘Game of Thrones’ Theories: Arya and Nymeria finally reunited, but what does it mean?

So, is Arya actually heading back to Winterfell?

‘Game of Thrones’: So Samwell Tarly is basically George R.R. Martin, right?

Finally, Jon Snow's sidekick has a greater purpose.

‘Game of Thrones’: Everyone's true nature is exposed in "Stormborn"

WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU, THEON!