7 Things Michelle Obama Isn't Allowed to Do According to Conservatives

In a twist more epic than Jennifer Lawrence’s fall, First Lady Michelle Obama made a live- streamed video appearance at the Academy Awards to announce the win for Best Picture of the year, Argo. Of course, the right wing is up in arms, adding onto the notion that First Lady can’t do anything without getting flak. And it’s getting ridiculous.

According to the right, Michelle Obama isn't allowed to do a whole host of things. Here are just seven.

1. Present at the Oscars

As ridiculously described by Christian Toto for Breibart.com, “It was an unprecedented cultural power grab by the Obamas, almost daring conservative viewers to adore her as much as progressives already do.” He goes on to further liken the First Couple to that of a “Cult of Personality” has taken an “ugly turn,” apparently because there isn’t that much of a difference between Kim Jong-un and the Obamas.

2. Go sleeveless in an official White House photo

If there is one aspect that defines the First Lady’s stay in office, it’s her sense of fashion. Her chosen outfits and bangs were some of the most talked about topics this past presidential inauguration. However, Mrs. Obama found herself in the midst of controversy when it turned out she didn’t get the memo on how inappropriate her arms truly are. The same could be said of her legs during her trip to the Grand Canyon. Goodness forbid she decides to keep her look fresh, young, and relatable, rather than stuffy and traditional. In both cases, Mrs. Obama was still dressed tastefully enough to not usher any knee-jerk reaction relating to provocativeness.

3. Go on a privately-funded vacation

“A modern-day Marie Antoinette,” wrote Andrea Tantaros of Mrs. Obama for an op-ed in the New York Daily News. Such a bold statement gives the connotation of the First Lady doing nothing more but sitting pretty in Washington, spending tax payer dollars at each turn, unchecked and uncaring. Most of the criticism for her trip stemmed from elements that were, frankly, out of the First Lady’s control. From the Secret Service to the Air Force planes — it’s a fact that maintaining and protecting the First Family (among a slew of priorities that might as well be complained about while we’re at it), regardless, costs money. And it’s not every day that the First Lady jets off to an exotic location to enjoy the downtime everyone deserves. Interestingly enough, according to Forbes, the budget request for the Secret Service in 2013 is reportedly down by $65.8 million.

4. Shop at Target

In contrast to luxury, Mrs. Obama is apparently also not allowed to be normal and shop at Target.

5. Have a cause

The United States is one of the most obese countries in the entire world. The First Lady, in tune with work First Ladies have done in the past, took it upon her self to create the Let’s Move campaign, aimed at fighting childhood obesity in particular. It is a campaign that has gone as far as to produce a strenuous work out video sponsored by Beyoncé.  And it goes without saying that the Let’s Move campaign has seen success. Yet critics such as Rush Limbaugh have called Mrs. Obama out for eating ribs. Conservative critics have gone as far as even blaming Mrs. Obama for pedestrian deaths and downplaying the impact of what a healthier menu in combination with awareness could do for families everywhere. To claim otherwise is facetious nitpicking.

Currently, Mrs. Obama is on a tour celebrating and continuing to promote the Let’s Move initiative.

6. Own her physique

According to Rush Limbaugh, “The problem is, and dare I say this, it doesn't look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary advice ... I'm trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date every six months or what have you.”

Because in order to be the epitome of health, you have meet the exact standards of photo-shopped beauty. The aforementioned ribs jive came from Limbaugh as well. Did he not receive the memo that keeping healthy doesn’t necessarily mean depriving oneself entirely of fatty foods, but keeping them in small portions and keeping up with exercise. Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner (R-Wisc.) was also caught in scandal when he said over the phone of Mrs. Obama that she “lectures us on eating right while she has a large posterior herself.”

There is a long and dank history of white men in relation to the bodies of black women — but going by physicality alone, it’s pretty clear that despite her womanly (offending…?) curves, Mrs. Obama is in good shape.

7. Attend the funeral of a shooting victim

“Heartbroken' Michelle Obama attending funeral of Hadiya Pendleton. I guess the other 553 murder victims didn't break her heart,” tweeted former Tea Party member Joe Walsh. He criticized the Mrs. Obama for not attending the 500+ funerals of other gun violence victims but showing preference towards Hadiya Pendleton who had just performed at the president’s second inauguration weeks ago. It’s only logical that Mrs. Obama would have wanted to honor her memory given the promixity of the situation to her. That isn't to say she cares any less for the crimes and deaths that plague the country — and it's childish to suggest as much. At the very least you would think political agendas aside, the one concept everyone could unite under is that of one dealing with tragic loss.