Kim Kardashian Baby: 5 Reasons We Should Be Terrified Kim and Kanye Are Having a Girl

US Weekly recently reported that reality TV star Kim Kardashian and rapper/producer Kanye West are expecting a baby girl in July. While the couple has yet to confirm this, it’s safe to say that if this is true, Lil’ Kimye will be one of the most bizarre, spoiled, outlandish, and entertaining people to ever walk the Earth.

Frankly, I’m afraid, and you should be too. Yes: this child will be weirder and cooler than you’ll ever be, but she also has to grow up with two of the craziest parents a kid could ask for. While Kim and Yeezy may very well be amazing, loving, nurturing parents, there are numerous red flags suggesting they might not be the best two people to procreate. Below are the top five reasons why we should be a little bit worried (Warning: some of the following lines of lyrics are graphic):

1. “Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh? I put the p*ssy in a sarcophagus. Now she claimin’ that I bruised her esophagus; head of the class, and she just want a 'swallow-ship'...” — Kanye West, “Monster”

Also, this whole g**damn video...


2. “You been with her 10 years, you deserve a menage. Especially if you put that BMW in that garage...” — Kanye West, “Birthday Song”

(+video, again...)


 3. “Give head, stop, breathe, get up, check your weave...” — Kanye West, “The New Workout Plan”

The song is more satirical than anything else, but still ...


4. “You know what yo? You a b*tch. You should have a travel agent, ‘cause you a trip. You should make your own toilet tissue since you the sh*t. But all you got is some f*ckin’ issues, you f*ckin’ b*tch...” — Kanye West, “Deuces (Remix)”

(No video for this one unfortunately)


5. And then there’s mama: sex tape with Ray-J (of all people), shotgun marriage to the BK Nets’ backup power forward ... the list goes on.



We don’t hate you Kim, we just need you to do better.

How likely are you to make Mic your go-to news source?

Zak Cheney Rice

Zak is a Senior Staff Writer at Mic.

MORE FROM

'Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later' trailer teases a '90s love fest — without Bradley Cooper

It's 1991, and the Camp Firewood gang is back on Netflix for more absurd antics.

These are the most scathing and hilarious reviews for 'Transformers: The Last Knight'

'Transformers: The Last Knight' might be the worst 'Transformers' movie of them all.

Chance apologies for "disrespecting" Dr. Dre and Aftermath on his Be Encouraged tour

The two artists are not as different as Chance once assumed.

Find out what time 'GLOW' hits Netflix

The wild new Netflix comedy is coming to small screens on Friday.

'Transformers: The Last Knight' Box Office: Looks like US fans are finally over this franchise

The film is set to post the franchise's lowest domestic opening to date.

'Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later' trailer teases a '90s love fest — without Bradley Cooper

It's 1991, and the Camp Firewood gang is back on Netflix for more absurd antics.

These are the most scathing and hilarious reviews for 'Transformers: The Last Knight'

'Transformers: The Last Knight' might be the worst 'Transformers' movie of them all.

Chance apologies for "disrespecting" Dr. Dre and Aftermath on his Be Encouraged tour

The two artists are not as different as Chance once assumed.

Find out what time 'GLOW' hits Netflix

The wild new Netflix comedy is coming to small screens on Friday.

'Transformers: The Last Knight' Box Office: Looks like US fans are finally over this franchise

The film is set to post the franchise's lowest domestic opening to date.