We know Saint Patrick died centuries ago on March 17, giving us an excuse to riot, party, and otherwise drunkenly humiliate ourselves in his holy honor. But amidst this Guinness-fueled debauchery, a few other gems of humanity somehow found their way onto this earth.
One might say St. Patrick died so they could live. And I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say, "Thank you."
So when you celebrate the legacy of St. Paddy this weekend, be sure to incorporate these five birthdays into your foul-mouthed and uncomfortably long-winded toasts.
1. Kurt Russell (b. 1951)
2. Nat King Cole (b. 1919)
Photo Credit: WTTW
3. Sam Bowie (b. 1961)
Photo Credit: ESPN
"Here's to Sam: Jay-Z made fun of you because you were drafted before Michael Jordan and quickly faded into irrelevancy. We'd love to defend you, but we really can't. You'll always be our favorite draft bust. Thanks for the memories."
4. Mia Hamm (b. 1972)
Photo Credit: Soccer STL
"Here's to Mia: you always were and always will be our favorite player. It's your world, the rest of us just live here. Always remember '99."
5. Rudy Ray Moore (b. 1927)
Photo Credit: All Hip-Hop
"Here's to Rudy: your foul mouth and inimitable style inspired generations of entertainers. 'The Signifying Monkey' is a work of art. RIP, Rudy Ray. We miss you."