Subscribe to Mic Daily
We’ll send you a rundown of the top five stories every day

Because of profile pics and comments, PolicyMic is very conducive to actually getting to know and like the opposite gender. Of course, online flirtation is difficult because you can’t rely on your affability or personality. Instead, all your chances of success matter on how eloquently you can present yourself in words. But fear not: hiding behind a computer screen and approaching women I would never have the courage to speak to in real life is something of a specialty I have and the first step to successful flirtation is a good pickup line.

Therefore, for your consideration, here are eight awesome pickup lines to use on PolicyMic.

1. "Blog dirty to me"

Some clever world play, if I do say so myself. It all goes downhill from here, though.

2. "I Know the editorial board; wanna get leveled up?"

You simply have to allow this, PolicyMic Overlords; bro code dictates it (for the ladies as well).

3. "Anytime you want a mic, you lemme know, toots/stud"

Because we all know nothing is more attractive than the shameless offering of tangible rewards along with some good, old-fashioned objectification.

4. "This topic deserves further discussion; let’s meet on Skype"

Luckily, you don’t have to even do the research; just regurgitate your date’s own piece back to them with a small disagreement that they would be happy to correct.

5. "Is your name U-Haul? Because your writing moves me"

Like I said before, it all went downhill from the first one.

6. "I’ve got over 200,000 unique views [suggestive growl]"

Plus, I have a high-ranked account on Reddit [wink].

7. "All my social media leads me back to you"

I’ve done you proud, Keats.

8. "I wrote you a poem"

The classic approach, hearkening back to Petrarch and Shakespeare. I actually did write one, though.

Your grace, the world it showed
That Swan of Avon, lies he told
Rose by another name, he cried
Could be not sweeter, Swan, he lied
The countenance of queens, Cleopatra said
And lies again her reflection read
What sorrow that mirror must have brought
For it was your gaze that she sought
The song of Petrarch, perhaps not wrong
For it was you he heard in harp and song
But in darkness again, he did speak
His verse again, your beauty made weak
So listen not to tales those bards did sow
Your beauty they did not show, did not know

And, for the sake of full disclosure, I wrote each pickup line with a specific person in mind but, for the sake of not creeping people out, I didn’t link each one to their respective pages.