Rick Perry: North Korea Wants to Attack Austin, Texas Because It's Just That Awesome

The self-delusion of Rick Perry knows no bounds. The Republican Texas Governor gave a bizarre rambling interview to CBS Morning News on April 3 explaining why the state of Texas had found its way onto North Korea's target list. 

People are willing to accept that North Korea might want to attack hubs of technology like San Francisco and the nation's capital of Washington D.C., but a few folks found themselves wondering why Austin, TX made the cut. Rick Perry explained that the reason North Korea had singled out Austin was because of his outstanding leadership for the past 12 years. 

“Economically, what has happened in Texas over the course of the last decade has made this city an epicenter for a lot of technology and a lot of economic development. And I think the individuals in North Korea understand that Austin, Texas is now a very important city in America, as do corporate CEOs and other people who are moving here in record number.”


Perhaps Kim Jong-un is just a big fan of SXSW? Kim’s personal attachment to hipster-indie rock collectives is only paralleled by his devotion to his hipster haircut.


Anyway, if you are bored and want to see if your city will be obliterated by the imminent onslaught of mass destruction, check out these photos:



Ugh. Chicago’s not even anywhere on that list. Chicago never gets any love from evil-dictators.