5 Things Every Michigan Fan Needs to Do to Make Sure the Wolverines Win the Championship

We’ve crunched the numbers here at PolicyMic and we (some of us) believe that the Michigan Wolverines will emerge victorious in Monday's final showdown against the Louisville Cardinals.

All the signs point to it, and after some high level calculations and numerological prophecies we’ve determined it all comes down to the number 5. Because Michigan is a No. 4 seed and Louisville is a No. 1 seed, adding up to 5 and because you can bet good money that the Fab 5 will get more airtime than Tim Hardaway’s Beanie.

Because sports are about epic high fives — like this one, because Michigan’s five dynamic freshmen — dubbed the Fresh 5 — may yet again be the key to victory and because the best lists typically have 5 items. In order to prepare you for tonight, to raise the hype to new levels, to celebrate all things blue, and to predict — with near certainty — that the victors will emerge victorious … PolicyMic presents the 5 things every Michigan fan should do before tonight’s game.

1) Devote approximately 30 minutes to YouTube inspiration, working your way up from this sad moment that ended last year. Let the pain of 2012 inspire retribution within Trey and Tim but remember this is a new year. Watch this hype video and then watch this hype video. When you’re done with that, watch this hype video and then this hype video. Watch them again. Preparation is 1/5th emotional.


2) Do your very best to repeat everything you did prior to past wins. If you ate Ramen and drank warm beer, for the love of god, do it again. If you haven’t showered since Michigan’s Final Four birth, this is not the time to start. If possible, sit on the same spot on the same couch in the same tattered Michigan t-shirt as you did on Saturday. Not all pregame rituals will be as good as Michigan's warm-up dunks, but still, do what comes naturally.


Speaking of couches, it might be a good move to prepare for whatever post-game situations may arise. If you’re of the couch-burning persuasion, prepare for this moment with the necessary kerosene, open space, and expendable sofa. If you are not, locate a fire extinguisher, get your couch off the porch, and pray for a peaceful riot.

 

3) Catch up on your history or reminisce on the old days with highlight videos of past Michigan programs. See the Fab 5 killing it on the court and off the court. Realize that, in the storied history of Michigan basketball, this team has the opportunity surpass the achievements of any team in the past 24 years. Reflect on that for a moment.


4) Browse these photos of Mitch McGary and watch him talk about Teen Wolf and Selena Gomez. He’s part teddy bear, part tenacious defender, and part unicycle-enthusiast. His intensity is infectious and should inspire us all. Go run around the house or jump on your bed. Find your 6’ 10” inner child and do what Mitch would do.

 

 

5) RELAX! We’ve made it this far and now only 40 minutes stand between us and national glory. As fans we may not have knocked down any jumpers or threw any alley-oops, but I like to think we’ve helped in our own way. Embrace your racing heart and tingling spine but don’t allow the nerves to take away from the excitement. We’ve earned this. GO BLUE


 

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Jake Offenhartz

Jake Offenhartz is a New York native currently living in Ann Arbor. A sophomore at the University of Michigan, he spends most days reading, discussing politics, and drinking too much coffee. His hobbies include playing guitar and basketball, though he excels at neither.

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