DEBATE TIME! Last night, the candidates took the comedy of errors otherwise known as the GOP primaries to Florida, where they continued to battle it out for the right to challenge President Barack Obama in the 2012 presidential election. Tempers flared, accusations were flung, and oddly, spaceships were a common topic of conversation. What we really wanna know, though, is who came out on top. So I present to you, the first (and last) ever 2012 Republican Primary GOP-ies, an award show brought to you commercial-free by Freddie Mac and BP.
"Bedtime Stories" Award goes to Ron Paul: I don't know if it was the comically over-sized suit or the look of genuine feeling in his eyes when he spoke, but Ron Paul reminded me of a loving old Grandpa. He even wants us to play nice in the sandbox with Cuba. I just wanted to buy him a cable-knit cardigan and place him by a fire every time I saw him.
"Kid With the Most Toys Wins" Award goes to Mitt Romney: It was interesting seeing the moderator question Romney, as his opponents had, about his wealth. Romney's answer was basically a giant "Sorry I'm Not Sorry." Between this and his advocacy for an increase in battleships so that other nations fear engaging us in a war, Romney took home the Kid With the Most Toys award.
"Silent But Deadly" award goes to Rick Santorum: Known for making his own crazy statements in the past, Santorum decided to sit back and hope that Romney and Gingrich would damage themselves while trying to rip each other to bits. I like his plan, if just for the fact that it means I don't have to listen to him.
Vince Vaughn "Dip Duck Dive Dodge Dip" Award goes to New Gringrich: Even though he had a minor slip up when he mentioned having someone come to his company to define lobbying, basically admitting that he used this expert to learn the legal limits of what he could do without getting in trouble, Gingrich did an amazing job avoiding an onslaught of questions and accusations from his opponents (mostly Romney). Speaking of which ...
"Shoot to Kill" Award goes to Mitt Romney: He was a man on a mission, a mission to destroy Newt Gringrich, mentioning his early political disgrace, calling him an influence peddler, and looking at his opponent like an attack dog every time he opened his mouth. He was determined to make Gringrich implode, but surprisingly (at least in my opinion) he didn't.
"You Dont Have To Go Home, But You Have to Get the Hell Out of Here Award" goes to Mitt Romney: So you don't want to deport people, but you want them to have a card that says they are here legally, and if they don't have that they can't work, and should leave the country and come back legally ... hmmm.
Weigh in: What do you think? Who came out on top and who has the most ground to gain before takin' it on down to Jacksonville? Either way, I just hope it ends with Paul doing a reading of Dr. Seuss' "Oh The Places You'll Go."
Photo Credit: marshillonline