10 Things You Should Learn From 'Jurassic Park'

Jurassic Park 3D was released on April 5, and I hope you saw it again. I was four when I first saw it. It's the first movie — and birthday present — that I can remember. However, there are ten things you should take away from this movie.

1. Never use the bathroom, especially when it's stormy, there's no power, and a T-Rex has just busted out of its paddock.


2. When there's a T-Rex stomping around, turn off the flashlight.


3. When a paleontologist and dinosaur expert tells you to freeze in the face of a T-Rex, you should follow his advice.


4. Don't steal. People hate thieves. (Cough, Nedry, cough cough)


5. When evading a T-Rex, put your vehicle into fifth gear as soon as possible.  If the transmission is automatic, floor it!


6. Use the M-16 assault rifle! Both Grant and Muldoon, the game warden, used a SPAS-12 shotgun, but a few M-16 rifles are also present in the gun rack.  


Dinosaurs running amok — maximize firepower.

7. When someone tells you to jump — especially when you're holding onto a 10,000 volt electrified fence — do IT!


8. Mr. Hammond spent way too much money, his antivirus software was awful, and his tech people were criminals.  


No wonder why he lost his company in the end.

9. Don't eat — or leave children unattended — when you're fleeing escaped dinosaurs.


10. With dinosaurs roaming everywhere, don't go anywhere alone, even if the game warden comes with you.


Stealing dinosaurs can turn out poorly.


10,000 volts of electricity ... yeah, I'd jump.


I know Dr. Malcolm is eccentric, but he's right in this case.


The consequences of stopping for a quick snack, and shame on you Grant for leaving them alone.


Lastly, do you see the M-16s next to the shotguns? (15 seconds into the clip)


Anything else, Dr. Grant?


Gotcha.

How much do you trust the information in this article?

Matt Vespa

Matt Vespa is a conservative blogger living in Virginia.In addition to contributing to PolicyMic, he writes for RedState, PJ Media, IJ Review, and his personal blog Noodle Pundit. He's also the 2013 recipient of Americans for Prosperity Foundation's Andrew Breitbart Award For Excellence in Online Activism and Investigative Reporting. You can reach him at mattvsp@yahoo.com

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