Subscribe to Mic Daily
We’ll send you a rundown of the top five stories every day

At least 20-minutes of every matriculation ceremony is filled with a speech from a keynote speaker.

That's the individual who is supposed to propel eager young-folk to go forth into the world and change it for the better. It’s a time of great trepidation for students as they enter a job market that may not have a place for them, heck it may not even want them. What these students need is a leader to stand up at that podium and tell them, “Yes, it will be hard but you can do it.” Well, Mitt Romney decided to go in a bit of a different direction.

The would-be president stood in the honorary black robes and hood provided by Southern Virginia University. He was speaking to a small graduating class of 110 students, many of whom had volunteered for his election campaign. Romney decided to forgo the usual messages of hope in exchange for another message. Have babies.

“Get married, have a quiver full of kids if you can.”

Mr. Romney, I literally cannot do that. I don’t believe it is scientifically possible to fit but one child into a modern day quiver. (See Fig 1.1)

Figure 1.1

I’ll humor him for a second, say that I did have a quiver full of children. How many kids are we talking here? Let’s go to the internet to find out:

60-80? I’m a human, not a machine damn it! Let’s take the more conservative estimate of 12-24. Economically speaking, how does this pan out for the recent graduate of college?

Average amount of college student debt: \$27,000

Cost of raising one child in the midwest, under a single income, living in the suburbs with the expectation of that child going to public college: \$240,490

Cost of raising 12 children: \$240,090 x 12 = \$2,881,080

Cost of raising 24 children: \$240,090 x 24 = \$5,762,160

Think of the food, think of the environmental cost, think of the size of the quiver you would need to build in order to fit that many children! The only thing you can hope for, is that the breadwinner of the family has access to some of that Mitt Romney style cash. Speaking of Mitt, he went onto say, "Children are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them.”

Why exactly would anyone want a quiver full of children? Mother Jones explains that it is part of the belief that these children will act as arrows of God’s divine army. Kathryn Joyce points out that the quiver movement’s aim is to subjugate children into strict gender roles as a way of enforcing and promoting the Biblical patriarchy. Mitt Romney is of course entitled to give his own bad advice in whatever and whichever manner suits him, just as long as he doesn't actually expect us to actually follow it.

Here is Mr. Romney's speech in full:

Share: