Ah, Cosmopolitan. Bastion of bizarre sex tips and questionable relationship advice, its headlines are a study in fueling women's insecurities, and its pages a distillation of the most unforgiving female beauty standards our media has to offer.
But if Cosmo is good for anything, it's that its over-the-top covers lend themselves to satire and mockery as few publications do. Enjoy a sample of the most hilarious parodies the internet can provide.
1. The Cosmarxpolitan
If Marxists capitalized (if you will) on their mainstream publishing potential, it might look a lot like this. (Though it's almost impossible to pick a best cover from the Cosmarxpolitan tumblr.)
2. The Inner Beauty Issue
If only real-life Cosmo were so empowering.
3. If Cosmo Headlines Were Honest
... they'd probably look a lot like this faux cover that went viral in summer of 2011.
4. The Vintage Issue
OK this issue — styled after the Cosmo of the 70s and 80s — actually looks pretty useful. A notoriously not-so-graceful eater, I support any quiz that helps me easily determine the condiment status of my hair.
5. The Jane Austen
It is a truth universally acknowledged that even 18th century ladies needed a handbook on how to score.
6. The Catmopolitan
Hypersexualization and crippling body guilt aren't just for humans anymore.