'Game of Thrones' Season 3 Episode 7: The Bear and the Maiden Fair

"The Bear and the Maiden Fair" was the seventh episode of the third season of HBO's hit series, Game of Thrones. The title comes from a song in George R.R. Martin's novels and can be briefly heard towards the end of the episode. The episode lacked much action, but still seemed to move pretty well. This week in Westeros ...

Jaime and Brienne:

It would be hard to not start off with addressing the elephant in the room. And by elephant, I mean bear. If you remember from the last episode, Robb Stark's bannerman Lord Bolton had agreed to let Jaime Lannister return to King's Landing, but Brienne would be forced to stay captive to the vile Locke at Harrenhal while Bolton heads to the Twin's for Edmure Tully's wedding. Jaime visits Brienne before he leaves, and vows that he will return the Stark girls to their mother upon arriving at King's Landing. They give a touching goodbye.

Shortly after leaving Harrenhal, Jaime learns that Locke has rejected the ransom offered by Brienne's father because he believes Brienne's father owns all the sapphire mines of Westeros due to a lie that Jaime told him. Whoops. Jaime's fib saved Brienne initially from rape, but has now condemned her. He convinces his escort to return him to Harrenhal, where he sees Brienne in a pit fighting a bear with a freaking wooden sword. Jaime, playing the hero, jumps into the pit after Brienne gets a giant scratch from the bear, and rescues her. He then forces Locke to allow Brienne to go to King's Landing with him, and triumphantly marches away with her as the Lannister theme closes out the episode.

I sort of wish Locke had received some more type of punishment. Oh well. It was a pretty badass scene.

Theon Greyjoy:

Okay, this entire subplot is getting boring. You would think that two gorgeous girls stripping down and straddling Theon before his sadist captor arrives to castrate him would spice things up a bit, but it really didn't. Yes, we get it. Theon sucks and we like torturing him. Seven episodes of it is just boring, though. Do something.

Jon Snow:

Ned Stark's bastard and his Wildling friends have crossed the Wall and are now making their way to Castle Black. It's a pretty good relationship between Jon and Ygritte (which, of course, means it's doomed, because this is Westeros). Ygritte spends much of the time making fun of the lordly customs of Westeros, even managing to make fun of Jon when he makes fun of her for thinking that an old abandoned mill is a palace. Jon tells Ygritte that six kings beyond the Wall have tried to invade Westeros, and six failed, and that Mance will fail as well and all of the Wildlings will die. Naturally, this leads Ygritte to kiss him with a pretty good comeback: "You are mine, I'm yours, and if we die, we die. But first we'll live." Hell yeah. 

Robb Stark:

Rain is delaying their trip to the Twins so that Robb's uncle Edmure can marry one of Walder Frey's daughters. Robb does not seem to mind the delay, though, kicking his family out of his tent for some sexy time with his queen, Talisa. "How am I supposed to sit here planning a war with you looking like that?" Exactly. Oona Chaplin still reigns as most the beautiful woman in the show. She reveals to Robb that she is pregnant, and they share a loving kiss as they envision a new brood of Stark wolflings. They're so happy. Again, since this is Westeros, be wary. Maybe Robb should spend less time in bed and more time figuring out that battlefield.

Tyrion:

Tyrion Lannister is not having such happy marital issues right now. Forced by his father to marry Sansa Stark, things have become awkward with his mistress lover, Shae — who inconveniently also happens to be Sansa's handmaiden. Bronn, rascal that he is, tells Tyrion just to wed one and bed the other. As long as Sansa produces a son for him, he'll have his claim to the North and can spend the rest of his time with Shae. When Tyrion tries to envision such a world with Shae, she will have none of it and storms off. Can't blame her. It's a crap situation.

Bran:

Osha is getting upset that Jojen and Bran spend so much time talking to each other; she does not trust the Reeds. When she learns that they are planning to head north of the Wall, she sort of freaks out — and then explains why. Her lover was taken by the White Walkers and returned to kill her, and she had to burn her cottage down to stop him. "I didn't ask the gods what it meant. I didn't need to; I already knew. It meant the North was no place for men to be, not anymore." You know, these Wildlings seem to be the only people making any sense.

Tywin and Joffrey:

Joffrey is, apparently, actually taking an interest in ruling his Seven Kingdoms. So much so that he has summoned dear old grandpa Tywin to give him the skinny on what is going on around Westeros and beyond. He seems to be particularly interested in the rumors of Daenerys and her dragons across the narrow sea. "Curiosities on the far side of the world are no threat to us," scoffs Tywin, before giving Joff a history lesson on how the dragons shrunk in size. "But how do we knew these dragons are just curiosities and not the beasts that brought the whole world to heel?" Whoah! Stop the presses. Is King Joffrey actually growing a brain? That's almost as shocking as when he chopped Ned Stark's head off.

Daenerys:

"Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons." Find a more badass mother than this on Mother's Day (I still love you, Mom). Daenerys and her great army have arrived at the slaving town of Yunkai, a great and ancient fortress. In order to avoid the fate of Qarth and Astapor, the slavers have offered Daenerys gold and ships. "Sail them back to Westeros, where you belong." The Khaleesi, however, has different plans. She orders Yunkai to free all 200,000 slaves they hold or be destroyed. The slavers refuse, and now the stage has been set for a great battle that could very well decimate her army.

Wouldn't it be pretty awesome if Daenerys with her many titles landed in Westeros with her army of dragons and liberated slaves to show all of these incestuous lords and grubby soldiers what's up? Yes, yes it would.

Miscellaneous:

- Arya ran away from the Brotherhood Without Banners because she is pissed off at them. Unfortunately, she ran right into the large arms of the Hound. This won't end well.

Next week looks tense! There are only three episodes left this season, and things are going to get crazy as we reach the season's climax. Tune in next week!