About Fizza: Fizza Joffrey is a recent graduate of University of California, Riverside, lover of One Direction (yep) and brand new to PolicyMic. Her application essay, "How to avoid getting married and following your dreams (alternatively titled: resisting the influences of your parents)," won us over and earned her a spot on our culture writing team.
(From Fizza) What well-meaning parent doesn't want their child to have a stable life and picket fence with 2.5 children? Here's how to break their hold, but not their hearts.
1. Tell them you're going to pursue your Master's degree. This is one of the most common yet fool-proof excuses out there. Tried and tested by yours truly. It should hold them off for at least a good two years.
2. Tap into your inner 12-year-old. For example, watch SpongeBob every morning and Scooby Doo on the weekends. There is nothing my mother shakes her head at more furiously than walking into the living room to find me lounging in my pj's at 10am, laughing every time Patrick shows up on-screen.
3. Don't learn how to cook. It seems most of our generation has this one covered.
4. Play the sympathy card. Ask them if they love you. Ask them why they want to get rid of you. They'll catch on quickly.
5. Blow all your money on One Direction tickets. I mean, what?
6. Argue the instability of your finances. Considering the fact that most of us have not yet excavated a stable career, we've yet to become well situated.
7. Use big words and confusing syntax.
8. Sit with your parents and talk it out. Make them a hot cup of tea and ease into it. Remember, they want the best for you. Help them understand that marriage doesn't define you and is most definitely not a necessary thing. You have dreams to fulfill, skies to soar through, ambitions to embrace.
9. If nothing else works, run away to Paris with a Zayn Malik look-alike. I would put a ring on that so fast...
For more news on Fizza, follow her on Twitter: @Fizza_H