Whether you're a high achiever, wondrously lazy slacker, or middle-of-the-road individual, one thing is certain: heartbreak can cast a shadow over everything in your life and gnaw at your chest when you least expect it. Though I've always had a lot going for me professionally, I've definitely fallen victim to crippling heartbreak, which once prevented me from meeting or looking at other prospects for a year and seven months (!!!). I vowed to never let myself get that low again, and here's how to avoid such a situation yourself.
Heartbreak is common for millennials, and if you've just graduated from college, perhaps you're hurting from the sweetheart you were forced to part ways with. It's going to be OK, guys. Just do as I say and you'll be back to your best self again.
I know, I know, this isn't the fun part of heartbreak, but it might actually be the most important. You have to allow yourself to "grieve," so to speak, so you eventually don't have anything left inside you to mourn. Don't kill me for paraphrasing Carrie Bradshaw, but this is a heartbreak post, dammit, so here goes: We're only allotted a certain number of tears for each person, so get all these out of your system as soon as you can. Think Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I hate to say it, but I'd rather be sad than angry, because bitterness is poisonous. After you've moped around for a while, recognize how much pain this person has caused you. Don't dwell or obsess, because believe me, that can turn you into a monster, but know your value and that this individual just isn't worth wanting back. It takes Elle a while to see that in Legally Blonde, but she uses her resentment as fuel to work harder and thrive as a law student. If the rage lingers longer than expected for you, do the same thing and maybe you'll like the results.
One of the most unhealthy things I ever did post-heartbreak was Facebook stalk the guy who'd blown me off for someone more sophisticated, beautiful, together, you name it. All day, I'd compare myself and curse fate for working in favor of two people I found undeserving of good things. Just thinking about my Facebook obsession/vengeful period makes my stomach turn, so I suggest you minimize your time on social media, at least if you have a Facebook stalking tendency. Life is too short to spend all your time online anyway, so remember that. The other person's social media activity may only serve to upset you, and why put yourself through that?
You're the sad one, not your friends, so let them provide the necessary outsider's perspective and distract you from your inner turmoil.
You may love your job more than anything, but you can't work through this breakup with your profession alone. Find something you love doing and invest a little more time than usual in it. Go for a bike ride, join a kickball team, look into acting classes, anything to take your mind off the stresses of everyday life and your heartache. You may even make some friends along the way, and perhaps a new love interest!
Again, their loss, not yours :)