Box Office Numbers: Our Box Office Retort, June 7-9

I've decided to attempt something new here on PolicyMic. More often than not, I find my Sundays unoccupied, and figured this would be the optimal time to probe the numbers for the weekend's box office. In addition, I plan to accompany the numbers with some commentary on each film. It depends on the response, but I can foresee this becoming a weekly effort.

I'm quite embarrassed to admit I haven't seen the majority of the films on the chart below, and what's even more greatly embarrassing is that I own advanced copies of the majority of these films. The intention is to view as many of the films as I can each week, and I won't guarantee success, but I can promise I will BS my way through it. Now, let's get down to brass tacks. 

(via Box Office Mojo)

1. The Purge: $36,379,000

This is Ethan Hawke’s biggest opening weekend, and that’s impressive considering the film only had a budget of $3 million.

Although The Purge has an interesting concept, I don't have a strong desire to see it, but probably will watch it with one of my many boorish friends (I've recently discovered 3% of my DNA is from Neanderthals, so I can say that).

I can deduce there will be a many deaths. Apologies for the spoiler.

2. Fast & Furious 6: $19,760,000

Like a President Clinton, one is enough. 

3. Now You See Me: $19,500,000

When I browse at the cast list and see the names Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Melanie Laurent, Morgan Freeman, and the ever-charming Michael Caine, it's hard to restrain the excitement. But when the plot line is four magicians pulling off various heists, I begin contemplating on seeing Fast & Furious 6.

I shake my Magic 8-Ball and ask, "Will Now You See Me be a great film?" It responds with, "Cannot predict now." I shake my Magic 8-Ball again and ask, "Will I ever be successful?” It responds, “Outlook not so good." I immediately throw my Magic 8-Ball against the wall.

I'll report my opinion next week. 

4. The Internship: $18,100,000

I'm fond of Owen Wilson, and I appreciate Vince Vaughn, but I sense both actors have been on autopilot for quite awhile now. I'm not even going to Google show times for this film. 

5. Epic: $12,100,000

Epic is loosely based off of William Joyce's book, The Leaf Men and the Brave Good Bugs, this appears to be an intriguing film ... not on par with Pixar, but enjoyable nonetheless. Apparently it's not great though.

Are grown men allowed to see animated films alone?

6. Star Trek Into Darkness: $11,700,000

Hey Abrams! Enough with the damn lens flare.

First movie on my list. 

7. After Earth: $11,200,000

An interesting article from the Hollywood Reporter cites sources that believe M. Night Shyamalan and Will Smith will suffer fallout from the feeble numbers the film is generating.

"No one is writing off Smith, though some say he will have to accept lower fees …" says a source.

Smith might have to replace that throne in Bel-Air for an Apple Box in Echo Park. In other words, do some Indies, Will. Your acting prowess would shine with a smaller budget.

8. The Hangover Part III: $7,380,000

Like Bush 41 and Bush 43, two too many.

9. Iron Man 3: $5,787,000

Saw about half of the film before I became comatose. Kinda of like the economy under Obama, huh? Sorry, I give up on the presidential quips.

I was unconscious not because of boredom, but because I was day drinking. Anyways, I'll eventually get around to viewing the 2nd half.

10. The Great Gatsby: $4,230,000

I give Baz Luhrmann credit for staying in tune with the novel, but where there is a discord is with the tone of the film. Most people seem to miss the point of the story itself, though, so I won't hold that against Luhrmann.

I expected the composition to be a distraction, and at moments it indeed was. Yet, the music, which I thought would be an even greater threat, actually blended well with the film. A commendable effort overall.

In the future, I suggest Baz steer clear of adapting other great American novels. I doubt the Invisible Man would be as enticing in cartoon form.