It's the summer and love is in the air. Flowers are blooming, the sun is out, and romance is blossoming. What better way to impress that significant other than to pop in a nice romantic film and spend two hours cuddling and watching a cutesy film together?
The problem is that there are a lot of faux-romantic films that masquerade as "date night material" but are guaranteed to kill any action on a date. Films like, Love Actually, Princess Bride, 50 First Dates, Say Anything, and Pretty Woman are dark, violent, disturbing films that will scare off any date ... guaranteed. If you don't know which movies you should pick, here are four stellar selections.
1. Annie Hall (1977)
Few failed romances have ever been as deep and as meaningful as Alvy Singer and Annie Hall's. From Alvy's humble roots as a neurotic child living under a rollercoaster in Coney Island to his days of being a professional comedian/full fledged asshole; Alvy's tale of of love and loss is sure to remind your significant other that sometimes relationships can't work and that they could do better than you. As Alvy learns, sometimes three times is not the charm, and you will die a lonely and miserable wretch without anyone in your life, and it will be mostly your fault.
As a side note, if the love of your life asks you to kill a spider, for the love of God do it.
2. Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
There has never been a story more inspirational and heart-warming than watching Nicolas Cage drink himself to death on screen and woo a hard-hearted prostitute. Romance is in the air on this one! This film can teach a young couple that even if you try and fix the love of your life's problems, you will fail and get worse yourself.
Remember that time that you and your partner thought that it would be super cute to go and beat up a prostitute? Leaving Las Vegas may be the film for you glorious young sociopaths, a must-see.
3. God Bless America (2011)
Nothing will get your loved one in the mood, quite like watching a baby be stab-murdered in the first five minutes of the film. If Fight Club and The Catcher in the Rye had a malformed, evil baby, that baby would be called God Bless America. The "protagonist" of God Bless America, is fired early in the movie's setup and decided to take out his revenge on all of the people he hates, which is apparently everyone. Partnered with a foul-mouth, homicidal, teenage girl (who makes Hit-Girl from Kick-Ass look like a Church girl) they set off to shoot-stab-murder literally everyone. If you felt that Django Unchained's biggest flaw as a film was its lack of copious amounts of blood, then God Bless America is the film for you.
4. The Road (2010)
If life seems tough, pop in this lighthearted romp about a man and his son trying to traverse the United States following the apocalypse. Marvel at the comedic elements of this popcorn romantic comedy as Cannibals try to eat the protagonists, and everyone slowly dies. This movie is family-friendly but also makes for a great date film. Guaranteed to bring a smile to any viewers face. The Road, written by humorist Cormac McCarthy, is funny, sweet, and is the perfect way to show your significant other that you know how to be caring, and enjoy the more childish things in life.
p.s. A note for the ladies: about 15 minutes into the film you get a brief shot of Viggo Mortenson's malnourished naked body. Talk about eye candy!
p.p.s. If you would like to not be maced while on a date, do not watch any of these films. Instead watch any of the films that were listed at the top of the article, The Princess Bride is a masterpiece.