Gay Marriage Rulings: Top 5 Laughable Reactions From Anti-Gay Conservatives

So it is done. DOMA is as good as dead, and Proposition 8 is likely to be 100% struck down soon. Liberals and social progressives rejoice; conservatives mourn. However, most of their reactions are laughable. Here are 5 such reactions.

1. Mike Huckabee

The former Arkansas governor and Republican presidential hopeful says: "My thoughts on the SCOTUS ruling that determined that same sex marriage is okay: 'Jesus wept.'"

Why? Why would a man who supposedly said “Love thy neighbour” weep about something he has never talked about, according to the Gospels?

2. Tim Huelskamp

This Republican representative from Kansas says that "the court action was an attempt to short-circuit the process and to undo a decision, a strong bipartisan decision, signed by President Bill Clinton and supported by then Senator Joe Biden; for this court to overrule it, I think folks are tired of judges dictating."

I know, it's a damn shame that the Supreme Court abolished the democratically-enacted, apartheid-like system in the South in the 1950s and 1960s. 

3. Brian Brown

The head of the National Organization for Marriage says that he wants “to preserve nature to its true nature, which is the complementarity of men and women to form family and the procreation of marriage.” Let's hope he will also militate for a complete ban of glasses, steel, plastic, nylon... You know, things that can't be found “naturally”.

4. Michele Bachmann

The former Republican congresswoman from Minnesota says: "For thousands of years of recorded human history, no society has defended the legal standard of marriage as anything other than between man and woman.”

Really?

Also, if she's such a devout Christian, devoted to the literal interpretation of the Bible, what was she doing in D.C.? She violated 1 Timothy 2:12, that clearly says that women can't "usurp authority over the man."

5. Tim Wildmon

The president of the registered hate group American Family Association says:

"Now, we must warn against the coming persecution, the barrage of criticism and the aggressive action of the homosexual agenda to indoctrinate and change the thoughts and convictions of Americans to accept this lifestyle as the new normal." Of course, their likes have never tried to indoctrinate anyone about, say, creationism.

And what is this famous gay agenda? Back in Quebec, a relatively liberal-minded province, the only times homosexuality was talked about was during sex-ed classes. I don't know anyone that "has turned" gay from it (if such a thing is even possible). Finally, if homosexuality is a "lifestyle," so is heterosexuality.