Guess Which Cereal Icon From Your Childhood Is Now Accused Of Being Part Of The Gay Agenda

When you thought right-wing Christians had reached the bottom of the barrel, they start digging a hole yet again. Their new target: General Mills and its Lucky Charms cereal. The crime: openly supporting LGBT by redesigning its famous brand, just as Nabisco did with its Oreo cookie. And so conservative websites now suggest that the cereal should include the letters L, G, B, and T and change its slogan to “openly gay” or that the next change will be "Snack, Crackle, Popper" (after the recreational drug used by some). 

Now don't get me wrong. What these Christian conservatives are doing is perfectly legal and it is their right to do it. It's both free speech and “voting with your feet.” Since their narrow-mindedness apparently makes them able to see the gay agenda being applied by force everywhere, they have the right to not buy whatever they want. 

However, their motives need to be exposed, ridiculed, and shouted from every rooftop there is. First and most important of all, there is no gay agenda. Homosexuals, lesbians, bisexuals, and so on are people like everyone else, except that they are attracted to members of their own sex. Even science is still puzzled on how and why this happens. But it could be considered “natural,” since over 1,500 species of animals show homosexual traits, and they don't seem to care about a god killing them for it.

Second, “their” agenda — which supposes every single one of them shares the same goal — is not mass “conversion,” since it hasn't been proven that one can “become” gay. It's merely mass acceptance they are seeking. I remember back in high school, during a sex ed class, we welcomed a gay and a lesbian. They talked about their lives and how they discovered themselves and answered our questions, including the cliché “Who's the man, who's the woman.” With such conferences, one learns to see that LGBT are normal people, having the same problems as opposite-sex couples.

Finally, the same people denouncing the “gay agenda” are clearly showing their, um, un-Christianity. Indeed, what about “Love thy neighbor”? “Judge not lest ye be judged”? Many of them will claim that the Bible condemns homosexuality, and they are right. But considering what other things the bible approves of, they are only cherry-picking what fits “their” agenda. Speaking of which, don't they have an “agenda” too? Many right-wing Christians want their beliefs exposed (with taxpayer money) on public display, like a sculpture of the Ten Commandments. We don't need no silly man-made constitution!!

Don't lose any sleep over this latest Christian rant. They are losing ground every day and hope that their bursts of fake anger will change something. It won't, in the long run. In the meantime, it's a good laugh.

How likely are you to make Mic your go-to news source?

Pierre-Guy Veer

I'm a self-proclaimed gray sheep: I listen to rock, hard rock, classical and video game music, I'm a libertarian, my eating habits would give Bloomberg a heart attack, I believe the individual is the basis of society, I wear the same clothes more than once and my cleaning products are bleach, vineager and baking soda (PS: My full first name is Pierre-Guy)

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