If Syfy’s Sharknado is Twister on speed, then Ghost Shark, which premiered on the same channel Thursday night, is Poltergeist on bath salts. Everything about this low-budget horror parody was flat-out uncanny, from the Smart House-esque 1990s cinematography, to the horrendous overacting of the already terrible script. By the end of its two-hour run time, though, all that matters is that when it comes down to it, Ghost Shark delivers on the ridiculous moments you’d come to expect from something like this: Waters run red. Ghost Shark makes an appearance in a swimming pool. Like, four people get chomped straight in half. What more could one want?
A movie with a name like Ghost Shark really shouldn’t need any exposition, but Syfy decided to put some in anyway, and boy is it campy: Ornery fishermen torture a shark. Shark swims into cursed reanimation cave, shark becomes ghost shark, ghost shark goes on killing rampage. Ghost Shark can only appear when there’s water, but that includes puddles or sinks or cups, so pretty much nowhere is safe. It’s definitely chuckle-worthy, but it’s not quite bad enough to qualify as something that’s “so bad it’s good.”
Here are some of the crazier things that happen in Ghost Shark:
There’s a sexy car-wash scene where a girl gets devoured by Ghost Shark in a big bucket:
A guy sits on a toilet which, of course, has water in it:
And in what’s probably the most hilarious, grisly Ghost Shark murder of them all, some dude walks up to the water cooler and pours himself a glass of cold H20. Uh oh! You get a good idea of what’s about to happen, but it doesn’t stop the jaw from dropping when it actually does:
When it comes down to it, there’s a high likelihood that watching Ghost Shark will feel like a waste of two hours. But there’s no doubting that the thing has an entertaining streak if you love yourself some good old WTF, and the ridiculousness of the attacks themselves might just justify a watch.