Here's That Jesus Dildo Someone Apparently Asked For


These exist. And, if you need to make sure you don't have the wrong pictures, these are indeed religiously-inspired sex toys. Manufacturer Divine Interventions has a line of nine different religious icons for your "pleasure."

For instance, there's the "Jackhammer Jesus" dildo, whose description reads "Jesus was a carpenter, now he's a powertool." The other theological indulgences include Buddha's Delight, Baby Jesus, the Devil, Virgin Mary, Bible Thumper, Diving Nun, Shiva, and the Grim Reaper.

While it's hard to imagine using a Virgin Mary dildo (unless you were ironically listening to Madonna's Like a Virgin) this is only the tip of the moral conundrum posed by this newest foray into the free market. If you dare, click on the link and find out what exactly you're supposed to do with "Baby Jesus." You won't find that passage in any biblical text.

You also have to admire the strict no-nonsense business attitude under Frequently Asked Questions. The company clearly states their overseas shipping policies, as well as wholesale inquiries, in case you need multiple tools of biblical proportions. It's hard to imagine that the most frequently asked questions are business related though. I was thinking more of "Why?" or "Does this count as confession?"

The icing on the cake for this enterprise is the list of countries that Divine Interventions ships to. The very last shipping destination listed is in fact, the Vatican City. There are sadly no public records of shipping transactions.

There you have it, if you're into that kind of thing. Jesus Christ.

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Brett Scruton

Example of a Liberal arts student. Graduate from Willamette University. Former NPDA and British Parliamentary Debater. International politics enthusiast. Punk rock lover.

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