Someone is Pooping in the Laundry Rooms At Yale

Here's a shitty story that the administration at Yale probably doesn't want to circulate. Apparently Yale has a problem with unknown students defecating in laundry facilities on campus. First reports came out in early September of students happening upon the messes during their wash cycles in the Saybrook dormitory laundry facilities. To get the attention of the Saybrook Master's Office, victim Lucy Fleming ('16) actually had to bring the tainted clothing to the office. For being an elite school, Yale certainly has a stained prestige akin to state school shenanigans.

There have been numerous acts by the "poopetrator" (actually dubbed by students) on campus since Lucy Fleming's trip to the administration. It took the most recent incident on August 26 for the Yale Police to start investigating.

The story started picking up beyond Yale's reporting network yesterday when the Yale Daily News finally reported the incident with the title, "Police probe Saybrook laundry incident" (interesting choice of words with "probe"). However, the Rumpus, was much more on top of the shit with a September 9 report on the incident. I have to hand it to the Rumpus and their bold opening sentence, "There is a monster in Saybrook."

The U.S. News College Compass currently ranks Yale third in the nation for best schools. Yale has always had an elite persona amongst the Ivy League schools. A profile on Ted Cruz revealed that he would only study with students from Yale, Princeton, and Harvard during law school. Yet, out of these three universities, Yale is the odd one out in elites. In their coverage of "Poopgate", BroBible lead off with, "Yale will forever be without a doubt the weirdest of the Ivies."           

For 2013-2014, tuition and fees for Yale come out to $44,000. That's a lot considering you run a chance of having your clothing pooped on. To all those who didn't make it into Yale, you probably pay less for your university and don't run a risk of soiled garments.

With the Yale police investigating, there's a good chance that your laundry is safe in Saybrook. Your prestige may have a slight odor though.

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Brett Scruton

Example of a Liberal arts student. Graduate from Willamette University. Former NPDA and British Parliamentary Debater. International politics enthusiast. Punk rock lover.

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