As we learned in the season finale of Parks and Recreation, Ron Swanson and his lovely girlfriend, Diane, are expecting a baby. Now that Ron has made an "honest woman" out of Diane, let's talk about why he'll be the best dad ever.
Ron is the kind of guy who sticks with the people he cares about through thick and thin. When the going gets tough, Ron gets going. Throughout all of Leslie’s trials and tribulations as deputy director of the Parks department — and now as City Councilwoman — Ron is always on her side. Whether or not Ron has a boy or girl, that little kid is going to be lucky to have him on his or her side.
Ron is the kind of guy who likes to keep things simple. True, most of his money is in gold and he doesn’t always pay his taxes, but remember when he offered to pay the fleet van owner $10,000 after the Newport campaign held Leslie’s vans hostage? If Ron has $10,000 to help Leslie out of a jam, he certainly can help support a family.
He paid for Andy to take courses at the local college because Ron knows that a little bit of knowledge — particularly in Andy’s case — can go a long way. A parent who will put a child’s education first? Golden.
It’s no secret that Ron is great at fixing things. Since Ron never got Andy and April a wedding gift, he spends their entire Halloween party fixing things around their house. Ron’s future kid could destroy his family's house and Ron would still find a way to repair it. And, of course, Ron is incredible at building things. This kid is going to have the coolest, most tricked out tree house in the neighborhood before he or she can even climb.
The whole department has received his sage wisdom — both solicited and unsolicited — and they’ve been better off for it. When April was punishing Andy for kissing Ann, Ron was the one who told her to knock it off. Thanks to Ron’s prodding, April and Andy lived happily ever after. Having a dad who can see through your shenanigans to what you really want for yourself is an excellent asset to have.
If Ron is anything, he is set in his ways. He’s even said he’s used the same hair comb for the past 30 years. It might take some swaying, but Ron will try new things if it’s in his or a friend’s best interest. When Ron was interested in the position of Assistant City Manager, he accompanied Chris to his meditation class. While it wasn’t something he enjoyed, he was ultimately willing to try it. If Ron’s child grows up to be a government-loving bureaucrat, it might take some time, but Ron will eventually come to terms with it.
Ron spent a recent episode of Parks and Recreation doing everything he could to “get off the grid.” In the end, when Diane expressed the importance of being able to reach him at any time, he caved and purchased his first cell phone. While he acquiesced to this request, it will be a very long time before his kid is vine-ing, snapchatting, or Instagramming. They’ll be that much better off for it.
Ron’s had years of experience acting as a surrogate father to the entire Parks department — to April and Tom in particular. If he can handle that ragtag group of misfits, he can certainly handle whatever a teenager brings his way. And, of course, we can’t forget about the little girl he helped with her homework in season 2. His natural rapport with her proved to us all that, despite any insistence to the contrary, tough Ron Swanson is really a big ol’ softy.