Being a Grown Up: Expectation vs. Reality

When you're a kid thinking about how it's going to be when you get older, you have a lot of big dreams and expectations. You know exactly how you're going to be as an adult and what your fabulous life will be like. Then one day you wake up and reality comes crashing down like a structurally unsound construction site, but it's not all bad. Well, it could be worse. Well, there's wine. So, that's something.

Here are a few major differences between what we thought we were getting and what the FedEx of life dropped off at our door:

1. Life in the Big City

We thought it would be like:


But then it was more like:


Carrie probably had brass knuckles in her drawer too, right?

2. Structure

No school ever again!


But then, as soon as we get outside we're right back up against the glass:


I feel like this fox just gets my life.

3. Partying Hearty

We thought growing up meant going out every night …


But now we do our new favorite thing: staying home watching Project Runway.


We’re making [adulthood] work.

4. Acting All Adult and Stuff

We do classy things.


In a relative sense.


Any situation is classy if you add scotch. Speaking of which …

5. Alcohol

We can get drunk all the time!


Especially since these days it only takes 3 drinks.


6. Daytime of the Night

We really looked forward to staying up late …


We didn’t realize we would be working.


Why else would you be up at this hour?

7. Independence Day

We have complete independence!


… except from our friends, parents, boss, landlord, and mobile phone company.


Please send help.

8. Lookin’ Fly

We look super hot …


Because we found the one thing we look good in and bought 12.


Too tired for choices.

9. Telling People What To Do


Nope.

10. Getting Respect

Just no.

11. Love

Expectation:


Reality:


Enough said.

12. But Then There’s Pizza

Expectation: eating all the pizza you want and no one needs to know.


Reality: eating all the pizza you want and no one needs to know. And it is delicious.

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Emily Duncan

Emily Duncan is a Canadian born, New York based writer and comedian. She graduated from New York University with a B.F.A. and has since held a variety of jobs in the arts. Emily has written and performed sketch comedy at UCBNY, the PIT, the Montreal Sketch Comedy Festival, and a variety of other places along the east coast. Her short plays have been produced in NYC, California and Canada and she has worked in theater, film and television production. Upcoming projects include the short film "Are You Afraid of the '90s?" by Kate Moran, starring Kristine Sutherland and Heather Matarazzo: http://www.that90smovie.com And performing her own piece, "On Not Dying", at SWAN Day Boston: https://www.facebook.com/SWANDayBoston2014BPT

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