I've received my fair share of doozies, including questions about my personal hygiene because of my race. Having those messages in my inbox helps me quantify these "offenses." But lest we think this is happening only in the virtual world where men (as a straight girl, I haven't received many messages from women) send racist messages from their comfy beds, let's not forget this happens in real life all the time.
In fact, perhaps even more invasively.
Like many ladies in New York City, I get catcalls all the time. But because I'm Asian, more often than not, the things people say tend to be race-based. I've had a man walk up to me in the middle of the night in Inwood and croon, "Asian persuaaaaasion" in my face. Another time, a man said to me from across the street, "You're Asian, you must like black guys," in Hamilton Heights on a Sunday afternoon. I have no idea if these are meant to actually make me feel flattered, but I know they just make me uncomfortable.
Online "catcalls" are often much more offensive, with questions about what I do in the bedroom or about my body parts. On the street, remarks are often made to me when I'm alone and, as I walk away, I find myself looking over my shoulder to make sure the person isn't following me. Many male friends of mine comment that I'm being silly for feeling this way, but unless you have been stalked by a man in his car while you're walking along a deserted street at night, you have no idea.
So while you may think Asian women have it easy when it comes to dating, think again. If having to get over fetishization and racist prejudices is something you want in your dating life, feel free to envy us.
Otherwise, let's raise a glass in solidarity at how dating, in general, sucks.