If you haven't heard that Anchorman 2, The Legend Continues is coming out this Christmas, you probably live in a place where mainstream media is censored ..., like Iran or Oklahoma. Over the past few weeks, San Diego's most trusted news anchor has been plastered all over billboards, seen on television commercials, become a spokesman for Dodge, and, yes, co-hosted a North Dakota newscast where he, not too surprisingly, seemed to fit right in. Ron Burgundy's visibility is starting to make Will Ferrell's absurdest parody of an anchorman look like, well, a real anchorman.
With that in mind, here are 10 things 21st Century American newscasters can still learn from Ron Burgundy.
1. Remember the story
Make sure that you never forget the story you're supposed to be covering.
2. You're a professional
Being a news anchor is like speaking at a funeral: Just don't laugh.
3. You're a professional!
Didn't you hear what I just said?
4. Do not recommend man-on-bird sex
Because chickens can't consent.
5. Do not lose your interview
You may be an idiot, just don't let anyone else make you look like one.
6. Wait for the commercial
Remember, green light means "on the air" and red light means "off the air."
7. Practice your pronunciation
How now brown cow. How now brown cow. How now brown cow.
8. Maintain your authority
Whatever's happening, always stay in control.
9. Always remember, you're an anchorman
You may be a huge douchebag, but you're still a trusted anchorman.
Stay classy, America.
10. And finally, never — under any circumstances — tell the audience this
...even if it was on the teleprompter.