The news: Everyone can rejoice, because George Zimmerman is back!
In an America where shooting a teenage boy has the potential to make you an instant celebrity, Zimmerman has apparently decided to cash in with a lucrative future in the realm of outsider art.
Initially posted for $99, it's now being bid on for $99,966.00, with over 300 inquiries and just $40 for expedited shipping.
Zimmerman's blue-and-black painting of an American flag features the inspiring patriotic text "God, One Nation, With Liberty and Justice For All," is 18" x 24", and was made with donated household latex paint. Like, for walls.
Its caption reads:
"First hand painted artwork by me, George Zimmerman. Everyone has been asking what I have been doing with myself. I found a creative, way to express myself, my emotions and the symbols that represent my experiences. My art work allows me to reflect, providing a therapeutic outlet and allows me to remain indoors :-) I hope you enjoy owning this piece as much as I enjoyed creating it. Your friend, George Zimmerman."
It wouldn't be the first time Zimmerman has had some unusual financial success, and considering the amount of trouble he's had with the law since being found innocent of murdering Trayvon Martin, perhaps it's a good idea that he sits indoors as much as possible.
Did George Zimmerman really just make more than I do in three years with some housepaint and a canvas? Yes.
And Zimmerman isn't the first, um, controversial George to make it big with a subsequent career in painting recently. Just look at former President George W. Bush, who is totally cool after releasing artwork of himself in the shower and of puppies:
As Vanity Fair observed:
"Bush appreciated art; an appreciation of art implies humanity, according to the enlightened classes; by the transitive property, Bush has humanity. War-mongers: they're just like us!"
Is there any kind of lesson here? Life is horribly cruel, and we are all the playthings of an uncaring God. That, and that it's probably only a matter of time until Zimmerman writes a best-selling book.
Prospective buyers have until Saturday night to own something horrifying, so get bidding.