Guess Which Car Justin Bieber Was Just Drunkenly Racing Through Miami

Guess Which Car Justin Bieber Was Just Drunkenly Racing Through Miami

Now that Justin Bieber has retired from music, he's become a full-time menace to society.

Early Thursday morning, Justin Bieber — manchild extraordinaire — had his entourage literally block traffic in Miami beach so he could drag race his bright yellow lamborghini. It's shocking enough that he was stoned, drunk, and on prescription medications. But why would you choose a bright yellow lamborghini if you also had a red one and a red Cadillac? Even worse — if you work in a creative industry, can you really not think of a more innovative ostentatious car than a yellow lamborghini? How about a Tesla, or a Bugatti? Or even his leopard print Audi or his tricked out Smart Car. Poor judgment runs deep.

January has already been a disastrous month for Bieber, who was in trouble with the law for allegedly pelting a neighbor's home with eggs causing $20,000 in damages. When cops raiding his house after the egging, they found illegal drugs. Further, rumors have also come out that the singer is addicted to sizzurp — typically a mixture of codeine, promethazine, Sprite and a single Jolly Rancher — and that his team is urging him to go to rehab. This is, perhaps, the only thing he has in common with Lil Wayne.

As a whole, it's been a pretty rough year for the superstar. In March, Bieber was accused of spitting on a neighbor, and also lost his pet monkey, Mally, when the capuchin was taken by custom officials in Germany (maybe the only heart-wrenching incident of all).


Image Credit: JustinBieber

In April,  Bieber visited the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam — and was rightfully criticized for saying that he hoped that Frank, who died in a Nazi concentration camp in 1945, would have been a "Belieber." 

A leaked video in July displayed Bieber urinating in a janitor's mop bucket and then spraying a photo of former President Bill Clinton with what appeared to be a cleaner fluid while saying, "F*** Bill Clinton." Bieber later apologized to the former president. He then tweeted about the conversation, calling him a #greatguy. We're sure the former President of the United States was glad to hear it.  

In October, Bieber was photographed letting his bodyguards carry him up the stairs at the Great Wall of China.


Image Credit: CNN

In November, the New York Post's "Page Six" reportedly caught Bieber exiting a Brazilian brothel

And finally, on Christmas Eve, Bieber claimed he was retiring, tweeting "My beloved beliebers I'm officially retiring." And then, "The media talks a lot about me. They make a up a lot of lies and want me to fail but I'm never leaving you, being a belieber is a lifestyle." Just not if you 'belieb' in the rule of law or human decency.

They say the moment you hit it big, you stop aging. Well Bieber was discovered in 2008, and by the time he was 15, the Belieber movement had sprung into a full frenzy. Perhaps that's why he's playing life as if it were Grand Theft Auto. But the transition to manhood for a child star is surely a difficult one — and all this media attention can't help the star any.

So here's hoping his family and friends get him the help he needs; the help his beliebers can't provide.

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Emily Barasch

Emily is a writer living in New York. Her writing has appeared on theatlantic.com and dowser.org. She graduated from Yale where she was Editor-in-Chief of the Yale Herald.

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