Subscribe to Mic Daily
We’ll send you a rundown of the top five stories every day

The long primary season is finally over. Now that we’ve gotten Ron Paul to drop out of the race, let’s take a deeper look at the presumptive GOP nominee for president. Hopefully, after reading this you’ll have a better idea of where Willard"Mitt" Romney stands on the issues. O without further adieu I give you, Mitt Romney, To the Letter: 

Abortion: Romney’s record says he is pro-choice.

Birth Control: Romney says he is pro-contraception.

Civil Unions: Romney does not support the idea of civil unions.

Death Penalty: Romney attempted to get the death penalty re-instated while serving as governor of Massachusetts

Emissions: Romney opposes regulating carbon dioxide and other chemical emissions, saying that he doesn’t think “carbon is a pollutant.”

Federal Reserve: Romney has said he wants to replace Bernanke, and he’d be looking to change the role of the Fed.

Gay Marriage: Romney has pledged to support the stance that marriage is a union between one man and one woman.

Health Care: Romney says he would effectively repeal Obamacare on his first day in office.

Iranian Diplomacy: Romney would redeploy the military into Iranian waters and increase sanctions.

Judicial Appointments: Romney nominated 9 conservatives in 36 openings for judicial positions as governor.

Kickbacks: Romney served as a board member during the famous Marriott kickbacks scandal. Romney is named after Willard Marriott, and Marriott is a large donor to his political campaigns.

Labor: Romney would support laws that prohibit the use of payroll deducted Union Dues for political purposes.

Medicare: Romney promises major reforms, while “grandfathering in” current recipients so that they will not see a change in their lifestyles.

National Defense: Romney will continue increased spending on the military.

Osama Bin Laden: Romney says he would have ordered the raid too despite his statements to the contrary in 2008.

Paperback Changes: Romney admits to changing a line in his book about spreading national health care reform.

Quiet Rooms: Romney wants you to keep it down when talking about income inequality.

Ronald Reagan – Romney voted twice for Reagan but does not want to return to “Reagan-Bush.”

Spending: Romney loves spending money, almost as much as he loves making it!

Taxes: Romney would cut marginal tax rates by 20% across the board.

Utah: He has a soft spot for the “old country” and needs their money too! Hey, he did get you the Olympics.

Values – Romney says he is pro-Life.

Waiting period for guns: Romney supports eliminating the “waiting period.”

X, As in Title 10 - Romney says he would eliminate Title X family planning among other programs (despite being pro-contraception).

Yiddish: Romney doesn’t know the difference between a schlep and a schlub, but his “gay” voice is funny. Right?

Zeitgeist: It means "the spirit of the times" and almost certainly is more appealing to Romney than flip-flops.

Please take a moment in the comments section to espouse a buffet of unbecoming names for me and my list. While you’re at it, let me know how many flip-flops it takes to make a presidential nominee.