22-Pound Cat Holds Owners Hostage in Revenge for Being Kicked

Portland is known for a lot of things — furious house cats isn't usually one of them. But one Portland cat, a 22-pounder named Lux, is fed up, and he's not gonna take it anymore.

A man named Lee Palmer called 911 on Sunday night with "kind of a particular emergency." His cat, Lux, a black and white Himalayan with "a history of violence" was repeatedly trying to attack his owners and feeling, "very, very, very, very hostile." (Count 'em, four very's.)

You can listen to the call here. Don't worry, no one got hurt, so you can definitely laugh.

The caller found Lux trying to scratch his 7-month-old son, and so he gave the cat a swift kick "in the rear."

If you own a massively overweight cat, take note: This prompted Lux to go on the offensive, forcing the man, his family and the dog to take refuge in the bedroom. If you listen to the 911 call, you can actually hear Lux roaring agitatedly in the background — through a closed bedroom door.

With the aid of a trusty dog snare, police retrieved the cat "who had retreated to the top of the fridge and gotten into the crate." Crisis averted.

The Portland Police Department noted hilariously that, "The cat remained behind bars in the custody of the family, and officers cleared the scene and continued to fight crime elsewhere in the city."

In addition, the 911 operator deserves credit. She "stayed on the phone with the caller to ensure the family, including the dog, remained safe in the bedroom as the cat screeched in the background."

The baby received some scratches on the forehead but was not seriously hurt. At this time, the family is unsure what to do with Lux. Presumably this will be incorporated into the new season of Portlandia.