Chelsea Clinton, the daughter of former President Bill Clinton and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, gave birth to her first child, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky, on Friday night.
Bill and Hillary Clinton told the Associated Press they are "blessed, grateful and so happy" to become grandparents. But naturally, every political reporter country has been obsessively speculating on how the birth of Chelsea's first child will shape Hillary Clinton's potential run at the White House in 2016 (because it's never too early, apparently). The National Review's Jim Geraghty captures this facile obsession perfectly:
Coming soon to DC press corps: "Does a granddaughter named 'Charlotte' give Hillary an advantage in winning North Carolina in 2016?"— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) September 27, 2014
You'd think Geraghty's point — that the nation's political press, the people who are supposed to serve as watchdogs in Washington, are prone to hysterical speculation on every aspect of federal elections — is rather absurd, but it's apparently not.
The Huffington Post's Caroline Bologna, before Charlotte's birth: "As anticipation builds for the birth of Chelsea Clinton's first child with her husband Marc Mezvinsky, people are abuzz with speculation (and unsolicited advice) about the name. A Politico piece suggested that the couple aid grandma-to-be Hillary in her likely presidential campaign by picking one of the most popular names in Iowa and New Hampshire. The Washington Post recommends that they take it a step further and look into which baby names will be most appealing in 2016."
Politico's Katie Glueck: "The news of Chelsea Clinton's baby comes as most observers assume that Hillary Clinton will run for president. Hillary Clinton has said she wants to fully experience being a grandmother ahead of making a decision about her presidential plans."
ABC News's Liz Kreutz: "It's hard to resist speculating about whether Charlotte is in line to be a future president, but Chelsea Clinton has squashed any assumption her child will be forced into the family business."
Politico's Daniella Diaz: "According to her star sign, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky may be suited to a career helping the world as part of a nonprofit or as a fundraiser. That figures, right?"
Then there's this, from the Associated Press (as published on the website of the Christian Science Monitor):
The article reads:
The baby has been eagerly anticipated as Hillary Clinton considers her political future — she has called the prospect of becoming a grandmother her "most exciting title yet" ... The former secretary of state has said she didn't want to make any decisions about another campaign until the baby's arrival, pointing to her interest in enjoying becoming a grandmother for the first time. If Clinton decides to run for president, her campaign would coincide with the baby's first two years.
And then this garbage from the New York Post:
Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky is barely three days old. The only things she can do at this point in her young life is eat, sleep and poop. The Clintons are likely approaching her birth the same way every average family around the world does: with love, happiness and pure joy. It takes a particularly cynical mind to start gaming out how an infant will shape the face of American politics in a presidential election that's more than two years away.
So here's a note to political reporters, cable news talking heads, analysts and pundits out there: If you have some idea as to how this baby will shape Hillary Clinton's presidential chances, take a note from Lena Dunham.