8 things to buy yourself if you're horny and single
This story is part of Thirst Week, a Mic series that explores modern desire and how the world around us shapes the way we lust.
Ah, Valentine’s Day: the pinnacle of cuffing season, when it seems like everyone and their bae is celebrating each other (and posting cheesy pics on social to prove it). But even if you’re, say, casually boning but not booed-up, you and your wonderland of a body still deserve a celebration. Look no further than our gift guide for the single and horny, curated especially for those who want to bask in pleasure — whether solo or with others — no strings attached.
The bedroom MVP
Bedmates are overrated; everything from their snoring to their blanket-snatching can rob you of sleep. If none of your guests decide to stay the night, cozy up with this 15- or 20-lb beauty.
It won’t leave you hot and sweaty (a downside to other weighted blankets), and every order comes with a link to download three singing bowl tracks to help you find your post-coital inner bliss.
The entertainment
Squeeze some solo sex into your Valentine’s Day with this vibrator from Lelo, designed to pleasure you no matter what your gender. Available in yellow, pink, and black, it serves as a jack of all trades: cock-ring, clitoral massager, prostate massager, or vibrating double-ended dildo. Stay hydrated — it's going to be a long night.
The ambience
This line of scented candles from Brooklinen will set the mood, regardless of whether you have someone in your bed or not. Nightcap smells like blood orange and bourbon, which is our favorite combination of scents for a night of relaxation and release.
The accessory to get you lifted
Indulge in a solo (or pre-boning) bake sesh with this compact aluminum and brass pipe, which comes in two chic designs, mint/rose and silver/gold. Pushing on the pipe swings it open to expose a spring-loaded bat and receptacle to hold up to half a gram of your herb of choice.
The sustenance
Speaking of herbal refreshment, here's a worthy go-to when the munchies hit on a cozy night in. Meat takes on a new life when cooked to tender perfection with a sous vide (french for "under vacuum").
How it works: You seal your food in plastic, place it in a hot water bath, and use the immersion cooker to heat and circulate the water, which allows the food to retain all that moist, flavorful goodness. If your tastebuds explode with pleasure, blame on the juice.
The nightcap
Leave the red wine to the couples and lean into the freedom of your situation (or situationship) with a heady scotch. The flavor profile of this single malt is sex in a bottle: vanilla, with notes of soft fruits, a rich, smooth palate, and a nutty finish. Get yours.
The glow-up prep
Just because you're thirsty doesn't mean your skin has to look it. This three-step parsley seed skincare routine will leave your skin hydrated and supple; the trio includes a facial cleanser, an antioxidant, alcohol-free facial toner, and an antioxidant serum.
The buffer
Your face won't need an IG filter to garner late night DMs. Luxuriate with this ultrasonic device from Dermapore, which comes in two modes: Extract, which removes oil, dirt, and blackheads; and Infuse, which boosts the absorption of your skincare products’ active ingredients.
