Move over, apple guac — there's a new culinary abomination in town.
Introducing the Hamdog: a combination hot dog and hamburger whose creation may well have been accompanied by a thunderous shriek as thousands of ravens took flight at once from a charcoal-fired summoning circle in a dark winter wood.
Behold, mortals, and despair:
The Hamdog will soon be on sale in Australia for AU$8 a pop, News.com.au reported, after chef Mark Murray managed to successfully patent a creation originally pitched in 2015 on Channel 10's Shark Tank program.
"Everyone told me it wasn't possible, because you'd need a patent lawyer and it would cost millions of dollars," Murray told News.com.au. "Even [Boost Juice founder and Shark Tank judge] Janine Allis told me that it was impossible to patent. She'll be eating her words now."
Murray supplied the broadcaster with helpful summoning sigils... er... drawings of the Hamdog's bun, which is currently supplied by a bakery in Perth.
Murray told News.com.au that his creation was selling well in booths at various festivities, saying "at one stage, the crew were knocking out about one every 15 seconds."
Forgive them, food gods, for they know not what they do.