'True Blood' Season 6 Episode 2 Recap: They’re All Going to Burn

It’s summer time, hooray! Even better? Bill finally has a storyline that’s worth caring about! And we’re actually rooting for him! Hip, hip, hooray!

Let’s jump right in. Turns out Bill is not a vampire god — he’s more like a Bill 2.0. He starts having visions (and first-hand experiences) of other vampires in distress. In a subconscious state, he comes in contact with Lilith who reveals herself to be a just a regular vampire also. But, she adds, she has been worshipped as a god, and Bill will be too. Looks like Bill will become a beacon of hope for vampires in the brewing war. We get a glimpse of this when Jessica kneels down to pray to Bill. She’s struggling to understand what her maker has become, but clearly feels whatever he is, it’s profound enough for her to find God again.

We find out that Bill 2.0 has two more powers in his arsenal (that’s four new powers total): the ability to see the future and the ability to freak-dance summon “Human Edibles” workers and suck them dry. But don’t worry guys. Bill seems to be the good guy in all this, as Lilith preps him to fight on behalf of vampire-rights abuses. His biggest battle yet may be his last vision of the episode: seeing Eric, Pam, Jessica, and Tara being burned alive in a government holding cell.

At Fangtasia, Tara’s been seriously injured by one of the UV-laced silver bullets the Feds shot at her. From the new guns to Bill’s eery vision to the Governor’s glamor-proof contact lenses (more on that later), the government has clearly been doing some serious research on how to impair vampires and their abilities, while the Authority was busy trying to make peace (and feeding on humans in their underground headquarters). 

In rare form, Pam admits that maybe she is a little scared, and for good reason — humans have never had an upper hand like this before. Personally, I think she’s just a little shaken up at seeing her boo Tara in pain, which is sweet and endearing. Eric barks some orders around — Nora to read the vampire Bible again and get the scoop on Billith, and Pam to shut the “eff” up — and disappears into the night to figure out the first line of defense in the war against humans.

His first stop is the Governor’s mansion, where he puts centuries-long study of humans to use and impersonates a geeky reporter to infiltrate the house. When Eric attempts to glamor the Governor, we learn he’s actually wearing nifty new glamor-proof contact lenses. Apparently, the Governor was just dying to use all this fancy vampire-defeating technology for purposes of war, and the bombing of the Tru Blood factories gave him the perfect opportunity. Did the Governor forget that last episode he vowed to get the Tru Blood factories up and running to get the vampires back to being happy tax-paying residents of Louisiana? Typical politician, flip flopping on the issues.

The governor and his goons try to shuffle Eric to a holding cell, but don’t realize that vampires can fly. So the shuffling isn’t that effective. Later that night, Eric returns to the mansion and glamors the governor’s daughter to invite him into the house. I can’t figure out what Eric’s plan is. Once he’s in the house, then what? Any ideas from my fellow fans?

Regardless it’s clear that Warlow will play some role in this human-on-vampire conflict. Lilith was alluding to Bill that big things are coming, and I’m hoping the writers tie Warlow into the big picture so that there aren’t too many disconnected storylines floating around, as with previous seasons.

Jason’s hitchhiking friend turns out not to be Warlow, but to be his and Sookie’s fairy grandfather. Grandpa Stackhouse, a.k.a Nile, has been keeping tabs on Warlow since he massacred Nile’s village hundreds of years ago. Warlow has been obsessed with their fairy lineage since way back when, perhaps because it’s royal — Nile is the King of their fae-tribe, making Sookie a “fairy princess” (aww). When Warlow revealed himself to John Stackhouse (Sookie’s actual grandfather), he promptly signed over his first fae-bearing female heir out of fear. Now Warlow, having arrived in Bon Temps from some dark hole portal at the beginning of the episode, is trying to cash in. 

Like any good grandpa, Nile teaches Sookie a family secret — the ability to harness her light into an orb that can kill any vampire with one blow. The catch? Sookie can only use it once as a half-fae. Will she save her light orb to defeat Warlow or will she use it to save any one of her friends?

Speaking of saving people, Sookie stumbles on a fellow half-fae with a serious vampire injury. Because Sookie is so annoyingly Sookie sometimes, she takes him, this random stranger, back to her house to clean him up. His name is Van, and he will be Sookie’s new love interest. That’s all you need to know at this point.

This episode reminded us that Sookie actually has a full-time job at Merlotte’s. With all the vampire-slaying and the 24-style time-lapse of True Blood, I forgot that all of these characters have real responsibilities like paying bills, and that all of these events (starting with last season) have happened in the span of two weeks.

Back at Merlotte’s, Terry and Arlene lie to Patrick’s wife about his disappearance. They claim he’s an adulterer who ran off with another woman — not that Terry had to kill him to protect himself from an evil smoke monster. I really hope that’s the last time I have to write about an evil smoke monster, because I hated that storyline last season.

A band of LA hippies (and one Vermont guy) walk into the bar. The leader of the crew, Nicole, co-founder of the US Vampire Union Society, approaches Sam to ask him to come out proudly as a shifter: “We really think it’s important to begin a dialogue between humans, vampires and other supernatural creatures.” Her point is this: everyone saw Luna shift on TV last night, and everyone’s going to be asking questions, and if you, Sam, think the War on Vampires is going to stop at vamps, then you’re seriously mistaken. 

True Blood is getting back to some of the themes it dealt with in the first season around the civil liberties of vampires, and how it mirrors our history with homosexuality and race. The Governor declares that vampires have no rights in the state of Louisiana. Whereas vampires may not have cared much for the human government before, they’ll have to deal with now being on the defense of that system.

Other happenings from this episode include Andy being overwhelmed with his ever-growing babies and Alcide and Martha taking away Emma from Sam. A scuffle happens and the whole thing is captured on tape by Nicole and her crew hiding in the bushes. She’ll no doubt use that tape to force Sam, shifters and werewolves alike to come out of hiding.

Anyway, I appreciate the writers trying to keep the storylines down, but I need more Lafayette. Now. 

Let me know if I missed anything in the comments and what you thought of this week’s episode.