The Zombie Apocalypse and bath salts memes have made it to the realm of television comedy on Tuesday, as Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert addressed the cannibal attacks on his show The Colbert Report.
“Folks, you know that I do not flinch at unpleasantness,” he began. “But even I have been willfully ignoring a terrifying trend dominating the news,” said Colbert of the Florida and Canada cannibalism attacks that have been dominating the airwaves for the last two weeks; adding, “Cannibalism is the hot new trend,” and “And you thought sagging pants were annoying?”
Colbert went on to cite the statement released by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, widely circulated by serious news organizations, in which the CDC officially denied the existence of zombies.
In pure Colbert fashion, the host pretended to be skeptical of the government’s statement. "It does make one wonder," Colbert said. "After all, something has clearly eaten [Fox News host] Trace Gallagher's brain."
And since the CDC has released a supposed “zombie awareness” campaign last year, Colbert continued expressing his “terror” and reaffirming to himself and his audience, "It makes sense that zombies would be attracted to science;" adding, "I mean, they're intellectual elites. All they care about is braaaaaiiiiiinnnnns."