'Overwatch' Uprising Skins: Here's our ranking of every character's new look

Source: Blizzard Entertainment

Without question, the best parts of every Overwatch event are the unlockable skins that you have only a few short weeks to earn. It's easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of these events — so easy, you might not spend the time to take a hard look at what Blizzard's serving up. 

So let's break it down in a no-holds-barred style critique. Please join me, writer Ryan Khosravi and editor Amanda Farough as we pick apart every single new Overwatch Uprising skin, Project Runway-style, and gave it a rating out of 10.

Overwatch Uprising Skins: Genji's "Blackwatch" skin

Genji's "Blackwatch" skin in the 'Overwatch' Uprising event
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

Tim Mulkerin (TM): OK, so I really respect the cinematic parallels here with Hanzo’s left breast.

Amanda Farough (AF): Show your work, Tim.

Hanzo's default skin
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

AF: I just wanted you to upload that pic of Hanzo, honestly.

Ryan Khosravi (RK): They made Genji look super Terminator-y.

TM: We cannot discuss this skin without bringing up Genji’s terrible toe shoes. Why does Blizzard insist on giving its characters awful footwear? Is this a symptom of the overwhelming white, male culture at Blizzard?

Robot toe shoes: still terrible
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

AF: I was just about to bring that up. The toe shoes are abhorrent.

RK: I'm from Orange County and I can attest to the fact that every middle-aged white man wants to pretend they're adventurous.

TM: If you had to rate this skin out of 10, what would you give it?

AF: 8 out of 10. High marks for shoulder muscles, but points docked for toe shoes.

RK: I think 8 out of 10 as well. I’m here for robo-abs.

TM: I'll go higher, 9 out of 10. The wiry, cable hair does it for me.

Overwatch Uprising Skins: Tracer's "Cadet Oxton" skin

Tracer's new "Cadet Oxton" skin in the new 'Overwatch' Uprising event
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

AF: Allo, cadet!

RK: If either of you makes a Britney joke, I swear to God.

AF: I already published that article, Ryan. We've moved on.

TM: OK, not to keep harping on the shoes, but… Tracer's Crocs now have VELCRO.

RK: Wait, show me the shoes.

AF: WHAT?! WHERE?!

Tracer's new Velcrocs
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

AF: They're now Mary Jane Crocs.

RK: You know what — Crocs are the shoe for an independent woman. I'm here for it.

AF: She clearly doesn't give a fuck about the male gaze, which I'm all about.

TM: I give her a 6 out of 10. It's cute but not mind-blowing.

RK: Two out of two Crocs.

AF: I think she's adorable. 7 out of 10 — would snuggle with her on a couch.

Overwatch Uprising Skins: Widowmaker's "Talon" skin

Widowmaker's "Talon" skin in the 'Overwatch' Uprising event
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

TM: Speaking of the male gaze, I honestly really like this look. The purple ponytail is really working for me.

RK: I love the skin.

AF: So, I may not be versed on Widowmaker lore, so I don't understand the change in skin tone. Can someone please educate me?

RK: The villain group Talon stole her and slowed down her heart to make her a good sniper.

AF: Oh, so it's lack of circulation that normally makes her skin blue. OK, now that I'm on board, we can continue.

TM: But really, Blizzard just wanted a hot blue lady, let's be honest. They had to check that box.

AF: Let's talk about how on-point her hair is.

RK: I'm so here for literally the whole look. 10 out of 10, would wear to Fashion Week.

AF: She's a sass machine. Agreed. 10 out of 10. I would borrow from this closet. Especially for that low "V."

TM: I agree, 10 out of 10. This one is amazing.

Overwatch Uprising Skins: Reinhardt's "Lieutenant Wilhelm" skin

Reinhardt's "Lieutenant Wilhelm" skin in the 'Overwatch' Uprising event
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

TM: OK, now for the snooze-fest of the century.

AF: Ugh. Reinhardt.

RK: OK, but what actually are his feet?

AF: Bananas. Boats. Banana boats.

TM: I appreciate that most of these Uprising skins look like X-Men uniforms, but this one is just really basic.

RK: But, question: Is his hair different? Because he looks 5% more daddy to me. I hate that I said that.

Reinhardt's normal hair appearance
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

RK: Yes, it is different! OK, 5% more daddy confirmed.

TM: I have a hard time being sexually attracted to someone with a head the size of a lentil.

AF: I really dislike the yellow highlights. Like, a lot.

TM: I give this a 5 out of 10. It is the definition of mediocre.

AF: I'm bored by his skins in general, but this one could have been great. Instead, they chose to muss his hair and change his armor color. 4 out of 10. Snore.

RK: Yeah, he gets a 6 out of 10.

Overwatch Uprising Skins: Torbjörn's "Ironclad" skin

Torbjörn's "Ironclad" skin in the 'Overwatch' Uprising event
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

TM: All right, now for the only skin that matters: Daddy Torb.

RK: I'm quitting.

AF: Who knew that Torb had a cute chin?

RK: I'm happy that Torb is breaking the stereotype that being chubby and being muscular are mutually exclusive. But also, this scares me.

AF: Same!

TM: The half-off overalls is a very seductive, Charlie's Angels-do-NASCAR-scene type of move — you know the scene I mean.

AF: I'm just concerned he'll trip.

RK: He reminds me of the white people I go on the other side of the train to avoid being next to. He's the type of white dude that asks me for directions in the city but I think is going to assault me.

AF: It's the tank, isn't it?

RK: And the facial hair.

TM: That is so rude and anti-blue collar of you. What’s wrong with a man who has a little dirt under the nails?

RK: Um, when they stop shooting brown people, we can talk.

AF: Not really my kinda guy. He'd have callouses, and I like a man with softer hands.

TM: Fair points all around. Final ratings?

RK: I mean, I think it's a good skin. 8 out of 10. I just would never want to be around him.

TM: I agree. 7 out of 10. I like the design but it lacks pizzazz and "wow" factor.

AF: 7 out of 10. He's going to trip on those overalls, but I like that he has a cute chin. (100% mom over here.)

Overwatch Uprising Skins: Torbjörn's "Chief Engineer Lindholm" skin

Torbjörn's "Chief Engineer Lindholm" skin in the 'Overwatch' Uprising event
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

TM: Any strong or different feelings about his other skin, or should we move on?

AF: I like beards better. Always have. Always will. And I am such a sucker for a blond. But other than that: HE IS STILL GOING TO TRIP.

RK: His ponytail beards are iconic.

TM: The double ponytail beard is very Williamsburg hipster, though — especially in this context.

AF: I'll allow it.

TM: 6 out of 10 for me on this one.

AF: Still a solid 7 out of 10, because beards are best.

RK: I'll wear a ponytail beard with my Widow outfit — and, yeah, 7 out of 10 for me too.

Overwatch Uprising Skins: Mercy's "Combat Medic Ziegler" skin

Mercy's "Combat Medic Ziegler" skin in the 'Overwatch' Uprising event
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

TM: I am really feeling this look. The Louboutin reference with the red-soled shoe is on point.

RK: The only example of good Overwatch footwear.

TM: I've heard Mercy's haircut described as "bisexual." thoughts?

RK: I mean, I want her and Pharah to be together, so.

AF: OK, so, here's how I feel about the bisexual thing. Her hair is practical and stylish. It's feminine without being over-the-goddamn-top sexy. (Because that's not the point.) Also, her boots remind me of what Chanel was doing with its boots two winters ago. So, I don't know. "Bisexual" hair is kind of weird.

TM: Oh, Amanda with the deep cuts. I’m also unsure what "bisexual" hair even means. I didn't know that was a thing. This one is a 10 out of 10 for me, no question.

RK: 9 out of 10.

AF: But I love the skin so it's definitely 10 out of 10 for me.

Overwatch Uprising Skins: Orisa's "Null Sector" skin

Orisa's "Null Sector" skin in the 'Overwatch' Uprising event
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

AF: I am such a fan of this purple.

RK: Yeah, this is cool — I just hate that they take away her default eyes.

Orisa usually sports expressive, mechanical eyes
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

AF: Oh my god, me too.

TM: Yes, I totally agree. The best things about Orisa are her eyes and her horns, and all of her legendary skins change that! It totally makes her look way more generic, though I love everything else about it.

RK: Yeah, that’s probably why I only have the recolors of her default skin.

AF: The one thing I love about Orisa is her expressive eyes. I mean, that's part of her appeal. So, the fact that we don't get them here is depressing.

TM: Yeah. 7 out of 10 for me on the skin. Lost points for the lack of eyes. I get that this is a call-back to an older robot model, but still.

RK: I think 6 out of 10.

AF: It's a 6 out of 10 for me. She's not iconic Orisa anymore.

Overwatch Uprising Skins: McCree's "Blackwatch" skin

McCree's "Blackwatch" skin in the 'Overwatch' Uprising event
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

RK: This is honestly the most boring one.

TM: Really? I love this one. I think the attention to detail is really amazing. The black-and-red spurs, the laser sight on his gun and the Pirates of the Caribbean-esque belt buckle are really working for me.

AF: I love this one, too.

RK: I legit can't see a difference between this and his recolors.

TM: OK, first of all, he still has both arms.

RK: I guess I just want more from legendary skins.

AF: It's dark, brooding and I adore it. Secret's out: Amanda likes a bad boy sometimes.

TM: I think this one is another 10 out of 10 for me. I appreciate the understated black color palette combined with the attention to detail.

AF: This is a 9 out of 10 for me, but only because I'm not digging those boots.

RK: Eh, 6.5 out of 10?

Overwatch Uprising Skins: Bastion's "Null Sector" skin

Bastion's "Null Sector" skin in the 'Overwatch' Uprising event
Source: Blizzard Entertainment

RK: You can't make me care about this.

TM: I literally could have made this one myself in Microsoft Paint in 10 minutes. Eyedropper tool. Done.

AF: Bored. So bored. Again, points for purple, but SNORE.

TM: 2 out of 10. Too boring to care.

AF: 3 out of 10, points for purple.

RK: 3 out of 10.

More Overwatch news and updates

For more on Overwatch, check out the rest of what Mic has to offer. Here is a full explanation of the different types of health in Overwatch, the latest rumor of a Terry Crews-voiced Overwatch character, an update on that Mei ice wall exploit, a hilarious video of a play of the game involving the jump pad on Oasis, a roundup of the best Overwatch plays of the week, our definitive ranking of every Overwatch hero and a giant Overwatch FAQ for beginners.

How much do you trust the information in this article?

Tim Mulkerin

Tim Mulkerin writes about video games for Mic. You can reach him at tim@mic.com.

MORE FROM

'Kingdom Hearts 3' might feature the return of a classic gaming villain

Is Sephiroth coming back to 'Kingdom Hearts 3?' Here's what the game director had to say.

Why I hate amiibo: They’re a waste of time and money, and I don’t have room for them in my house

Here's why even the thought of collecting amiibo makes me so mad.

Will ‘Kingdom Hearts 3’ feature a 'Frozen' world?

Could we really see a 'Frozen' world in 'Kingdom Hearts 3'? Here's what we know so far.

The 5 best — well, least objectionable — women’s wrestling video games of all time

Thanks to 'Glow,' the women's wrestling renaissance has come to TV. But in gaming, the sport still get the short end of the barbed-wire-wrapped steel chair.

Does this screenshot prove Black Manta will hit 'Injustice 2' next?

It seems like an enemy of Aquaman is up next in the 'Injustice 2' DLC rotation.

How Cappy from ‘Super Mario Odyssey’ could change ‘Super Smash Bros.’ forever

If Cappy hits 'Super Smash Bros.' Switch, things are going to get weird.

'Kingdom Hearts 3' might feature the return of a classic gaming villain

Is Sephiroth coming back to 'Kingdom Hearts 3?' Here's what the game director had to say.

Why I hate amiibo: They’re a waste of time and money, and I don’t have room for them in my house

Here's why even the thought of collecting amiibo makes me so mad.

Will ‘Kingdom Hearts 3’ feature a 'Frozen' world?

Could we really see a 'Frozen' world in 'Kingdom Hearts 3'? Here's what we know so far.

The 5 best — well, least objectionable — women’s wrestling video games of all time

Thanks to 'Glow,' the women's wrestling renaissance has come to TV. But in gaming, the sport still get the short end of the barbed-wire-wrapped steel chair.

Does this screenshot prove Black Manta will hit 'Injustice 2' next?

It seems like an enemy of Aquaman is up next in the 'Injustice 2' DLC rotation.

How Cappy from ‘Super Mario Odyssey’ could change ‘Super Smash Bros.’ forever

If Cappy hits 'Super Smash Bros.' Switch, things are going to get weird.